Life in the Boomer Lane’s dad was born in Poland, seven years before the start of World War I. In addition to the massive upheaval going on throughout Eastern Europe at the time, it was additionally dangerous to be a Jew. And to be a poverty-stricken Jew at such time indicated the potential for a very short life expectancy, indeed. Several years after the war ended, he made it out of Poland with a doctored birth certificate that allowed him to enter the United States.
Having survived warfare in general and pogroms specifically, LBL’s father developed an attitude that served him for the rest of his life. It was very simple: Trust no one. He lived a small life of even smaller expectations. From age thirteen, he went to work and he came home. He ate and he slept. When he spoke, he did so in a voice barely above a whisper, and he always first made sure the blinds were closed.
The members of the family that left (the ones who would survive the Holocaust) brought few possessions with them from Europe, because they owned virtually nothing. Among them: several battered copper and brass cooking pots. A brass pestle without the mortar. An ornate pair of scissors that LBL’s dad proudly told her, on more than one occasion, a gentile (a non-Jew) had given to his father for some kind of service rendered. And his tallis and tefillin. The tallis, his fringed prayer shawl, would be placed over his head and then wrapped around his shoulders when he prayed. The tefillin, his phylacteries, would be placed at his forehead and then wound around his arm.
After LBL’s father died, she put the tallis and tefillin up in the attic, in a box that contained the pieces of her father’s life in Europe. Yiddish language newspapers that LBL couldn’t read. Old postcards written in Yiddish, filled with tiny writing that snaked up the side of the card. Although LBL didn’t understand any of the words, she always felt as though the writer was trying desperately to convey something that space and time would not allow. Photos of a pre-War Pinsk, cut from other newspapers, showing the sepia world from which her father fled.
Recently, a friend of hers told her about her father’s tallis being misplaced after his death. His brother had been promised the tallis and was quite upset that it couldn’t be found. LBL remembered her father’s tallis up in the attic. She had a moment of protectiveness (How could she give such a precious memento away?) before she realized what a gift her father could give to this man. LBL offered it and her friend gratefully accepted. She assured LBL her uncle would never know the difference. LBL gave her her father’s tallis.
LBL’s friend left her a voice mail message the other day to say that her uncle told her how grateful he was that his brother’s tallis had been “found.” LBL’s friend added, “You made an old man very happy.”
LBL put the phone down and she thought about her father. She’d like to believe that he is finally in a safe place, and can, perhaps for the first time ever, experience trust. And because of that, it would make him happy to know his tallis would, for the years to come, be wrapped around someone’s else’s shoulders.
36x37
June 14, 2011
What a beautiful post, Renee. It’s always touching to hear about generosity in the wake of loss. It must have been difficult to let go of something that meant so much to your father and had such a remarkable family history. But in this gift, a part of that history can live on and continue. Kudos to you for easing someone’s loss in such a selfless way.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 14, 2011
Thank you. Because my dad was so closed with his emotions, I never had the kind of relationship with him that I would have wanted. I felt like giving this part of him to someone else was something I would have wanted him to be able to do when he was alive.
Woman Wielding Words
June 14, 2011
What a beautiful story, and a wonderful mitzvah. I’m not really a practicing Jew anymore, but I treasure those bits of Judaism that represent survival in a long struggle. I am sure your father would recognize the power of sharing such a treasured artifact, and bringing peace out of painful memories. Thank you for sharing this story.
Joyce
June 14, 2011
This is a lovely,lovely piece. Your generosity and willingness to let go of the past opened up peace and joy for the man who received the tallis. I’m so glad you shared this sweet story.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 14, 2011
Thank you, my dear friend.
Sigrid Rogowski
June 14, 2011
This is a very touching post.Thank you for sharing it with us.
run4joy59
June 14, 2011
What a generous, giving act on your part…I’m sure your father would be pleased…and isn’t it amazing the terrible things we humans can do to one another and that somehow we manage to survive?!
carldagostino
June 14, 2011
I think a bio of your father could be titled “Finding Home: A Safe Home” It seems like both he and this symbol of his faith have accomplished that.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 14, 2011
Growing up, I always thought I was like my mom, a people person. My dad was a mystery. I saw him as the exact opposite of me, someone I could never relate to or understand. It took years before I understood that the world remained a fearful place to him.
judithhb
June 14, 2011
What a beautiful post Renee and thank you for sharing. 🙂
Midnight Orgasm
June 14, 2011
How you can weave these words together and make it look like a shining piece of jewelry? Truly an amazing piece that I would love to share to other people.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 14, 2011
Share away! And thanks for the comments. I checked your blog. I am a crazy reader person. I love Jonathan Safran Foer, as well as his wife Nicole Strauss. Have you read “The History of Love?” Fantastic.
TexasTrailerParkTrash
June 14, 2011
Beautiful, heartwarming story. Thank you so much for writing this.
I had a Jewish friend whose parents escaped from the Netherlands with their lives because of the kindness of a gentile physician. I also had Japanese friends whose parents spent the war in an internment camp, after having all their property taken from them even though they were American citizens. Your kind gesture shows that perhaps there is hope for the human race despite all.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 14, 2011
Any disregard for one person is an affront to all people. History is filled with inhumanity on a large scale and that will continue. I think each of us has the responsibility to take a personal stand in our daily lives by treating everyone we encounter with dignity.
O. Leonard
June 14, 2011
This story really touched me. Thanks for sharing.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 14, 2011
Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane!
Fragrant Liar
June 14, 2011
What a great story. I think you did the right thing, and I’m betting your pops thinks so too.
Jean Peelen
June 14, 2011
Very very lovely
Jean
lifeintheboomerlane
June 14, 2011
Thanks, dear!
Ellen Passel
June 14, 2011
What a great story. It brings tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing. And I’m sure your friend thanks you for sharing the tallis.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 15, 2011
Ah, yes, she does.
Kathryn McCullough
June 15, 2011
Wow, Renee–what a powerfully moving post! How beautiful that you would get to pass on this piece of your father–something that would bring such peace and comfort to another. Thanks for passing this on to us, as well!
Kathy
SisterMerryHellish
June 15, 2011
Thank you for sharing such a heart-warming story. Take comfort that your father surely knows the wonderful gift you gave to a man you don’t even know.
Simone Benedict
June 15, 2011
Beautiful. And so different from what you usually write. I’m reminded of the literature by Maus. His father survived the Jewish Holocaust, which Maus portrayed but he also showed how the effects of that experience shaped him as his father’s child. On an abstract level, it’s worth bearing in mind, I think. The good we do, as well as the bad, may have future effects beyond our comprehension. That’s what I think about the good you did with your father’s tallis. And thanks. I didn’t know what a tallis was.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 15, 2011
My writing has mostly been toward the serious side. What usually shows up in my blog posts, though, is my inclination to see the absurdity in everyday life. Hence, the humor. I haven’t read Maus. I will check him out. I do know that our actions have a ripple effect. Most of what we do affects others in ways we aren’t even aware of. That’s why we all get to be a positive force in the world.
Lunar Euphoria
June 15, 2011
What a generous gift.
Goodness. You got me teary.
dragonfae
June 15, 2011
What a beautiful, selfless act of kindness! You’ve got me teary too. *hugs*
lifeintheboomerlane
June 15, 2011
Thanks for visiting Life in the boomer Lane and for your comments!
k8edid
June 15, 2011
Beautiful post and a thoughtful gesture on your part. Thank you for sharing this.
“Any disregard for one person is an affront to all people. History is filled with inhumanity on a large scale and that will continue. I think each of us has the responsibility to take a personal stand in our daily lives by treating everyone we encounter with dignity.”
I could not agree with you more on this, this world is, and has been, filled with horrors and atrocities. Individually, we can a stand each and every day by doing exactly as you stated – treating everyone we encounter with dignity. Thank you.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 15, 2011
And thanks for your positive comments. I just subscribed to your blog. For some reason, I thought I was already subscribed, but alas, not.
pegoleg
June 15, 2011
This is lovely, Renee. You’re right that history is filled with inhumanity on a large scale. But it is also filled with countless acts of generosity on an intimate scale. I guess that’s why we still have hope for our world.
Tori Nelson
June 15, 2011
Renee, it’s not good for me to be crying so early in the morning. This is beautiful, and such a wonderful lesson in legacy.
izziedarling
June 15, 2011
Renee, this is so beautiful it made me cry. There are a million reasons why I think you are wonderful, this post makes a million and one. Perfection.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 16, 2011
Thank you, dear friend.
Les Aventures de Nadz !
June 16, 2011
Amazing story and very well written. Thank you for revealing part of your life with us.
daeja's view
June 16, 2011
such a sweet kindness, and so much the right thing. a very nice post.
Amanda Hoving
June 16, 2011
Such a beautiful story, Renee. Truly.
Swanlady
June 16, 2011
“I do know that our actions have a ripple effect. Most of what we do affects others in ways we aren’t even aware of. That’s why we all get to be a positive force in the world.”
From all the comments here, you have created a wonderful ripple that will continue to places unknown.
I will take this energy with me today with gratitude.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 16, 2011
Ah, many thanks!
Sande
June 17, 2011
Fabulous, heartwarming story. It brought back memories of my dad! Great job!
lifeintheboomerlane
June 17, 2011
Thanks, Sande! xxoo
Barbara Lissy
June 17, 2011
Renee – How powerful. I remember playing with the fringes (tzittit) of my father’s tallis. When I decided to wear one many years ago it took me a year or two to finally be able to wrap it around my shoulders. Maus is the name of the book – the author is Art Spiegelman.
I kept my husband’s tallit after his death. it served as our huppah. When the girls were preparing for their Bat Mitzvah they used parts of his tallit and tzittit to create their own – their own way of weaving their father into their lives.
Lovely memories which you shared. Thank you.
Barbara
lifeintheboomerlane
June 17, 2011
Thanks, Barbara. And your story is quite moving. Have you written about it? Just that one sentence “I remember playing with the fringes of my father’s tallis” is so evocative. You must write about your father’s tallis and your husband’s as a legacy for your grandchildren.
Simone Benedict
June 17, 2011
I’m glad my error corrected and I feel so silly over my mistake. So sorry.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 17, 2011
Hey, I feel even sillier about having forgotten all about that book! After you wrote your comment, I remembered it.
omawarisan
June 18, 2011
If you could distill kindness, it would look like the sound of your friend accepting your offer.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 18, 2011
Beautifully said, Oma.
absence of Alternatives
June 18, 2011
I don’t want to say anything that would cheapen this beautiful story and the beautiful spirits conveys by all parties involved. {{{hugs}}}
territerri
June 22, 2011
If there were a “Love” button for this post, I would be pushing it. What beautiful memories. Thank you for sharing them.
lifeintheboomerlane
June 22, 2011
Wow, thanks TT!
writerwoman61
June 23, 2011
What a lovely thing to do, Renée…I’m sure your dad is proud of your generous gesture!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
June 29, 2011
Thanks, Wendy!
Kasey Devery
September 12, 2011
You do look rather regal in the last photo
lifeintheboomerlane
September 12, 2011
Thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane, Kasey. Yes, I think it was the last time I ever did look regal.