The Saga of the Little Pink Panties

My nail lady, Tammy, who is now approaching 50, has finally officially entered the Universe of Perpetually Creative Brain Cells.   Several months ago, Tammy’s husband was cleaning their house and, in the guest bedroom, he came across a pair of lacy bikini panties under the bed.  They were pink, with little red hearts on them.  He was mystified and couldn’t imagine that they belonged to Tammy. He asked her where they came from.  Tammy told her husband that they must have belonged to her cousin, a twenty-something year old, who had been visiting them a couple weeks earlier.  Her husband agreed that that was the logical explanation.

Two weeks later, Tammy, herself, came across the panties and had no recollection of ever having seen them before.  Her only reaction was “These obviously belong to a much younger woman.”  Her second reaction was “I think I’ll have a talk with my scumbag husband.”  I should add here that Tammy’s husband has never done anything at all to give Tammy any reason to doubt his fidelity.  This didn’t stop Tammy.

When her husband returned home, Tammy confronted him and demanded to know where the panties came from.  Her husband, of course, immediately reminded her that she, herself, had told him they belonged to her cousin in the conversation they had about the panties two weeks ago.  Tammy apologized, then took the opportunity to advise her husband that, in the event he ever did decide to cheat on her, she was prepared to break everything in the house so that there would be no need to divide everything up. 

I forgot to ask Tammy what happened to the panties.  Hopefully, they were thrown out.  If not, Tammy and her husband might be having the same “conversation” again, and this time, the furniture, unlike the panties, might not survive.