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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
Pass the Diacetyl and Save Your Marriage
If you are a therapist, member of the clergy, marriage counselor, or author of a book about relationships, Life in the Boomer Lane has some mighty bad news for you. For the mere cost of a movie ticket (and, of course, popcorn), one’s marriage can be saved. Contrary to what many might believe, this therapy does […]
Blame it on Mercury Retrograde
January 27, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
As any deep thinker and follower of astrology knows, the planets, when they aren’t spinning around and minding their own business, have total control over our lives. So much so, that we attribute peoples’ entire personalities to whichever sign they are born under. An ordinary person can do whatever an ordinary person does, from being […]
What Are Men Good For?
January 26, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
The secret to longevity depends on who you ask. People who have actually made it to an advanced age will credit alcohol or no alcohol, sex or no sex, red meat or no red meat, whatever or not-whatever. Jessie Gallan, age 109, credits her advanced age to porridge and avoidance of men. While these items […]
Guerrilla Aging: My One Night Stand With A Personal Trainer
January 23, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Malia Lindquist, author of Rocky Mountain Miamian, is a blogger, recovering attorney and mom to two semi-adult daughters. A committed dabbler and traveler, she mostly splits her time between Boulder, Colorado and Miami, Florida, which perfectly reflects the split in her personality. She can be reached atLindquistLaw@gmail.com. […]
Past Life Aggression
January 19, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Life in the Boomer Lane has been giving some thought lately to past life regression. She has noticed that a lot of people (herself included) have characteristics that no other family members have. This can easily be explained as imprints from a past life. As virtually all of her friends are the only self-proclaimed […]
When Mothers and Their Babies Both Wear Diapers
January 15, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
While Life in the Boomer Lane has been frittering away her time keeping track of international terrorism and the antics of several unnamed heads-of-state, she has failed to notice a growing trend that poses a distinct threat to all women worldwide: the exploding number of post-50 women who are choosing to give birth. AARP Magazine, […]
I’ll have Air Over Easy, With A Side of Light. Hold the Potatoes.
January 7, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
The number of diets out there is exceeded only by the number of calories being consumed and the number of pounds being gained by the average person. For that reason, the latest diet to hit the streets is a logical extension of all the other diets: Breatharianism. No need to count pesky calories, carbs, fat, […]
Sex, Lies, and Ensure: The Sexual Habits of the Over-55 Set
January 5, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Anyone who has ever visited an assisted living facility or nursing home has probably come away with the impression that the #1 athletic pastime of residents consists of lining up at the dining hall doors, well before meal time is scheduled to begin. If so, you’d be wrong. Not only wrong, but seriously wrong. The […]
The Apps You Need Right Now
January 3, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
In an effort to better serve her non-paying clientele, Life in the Boomer Lane has made an exhaustive, as well as exhausting, survey of some of the 10 billion apps that are now available on smart phones, that enable people to live healthier, more stress-free lives. This research was done between the end of one […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
February 9, 2015 by Life in the Boomer Lane
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