Browsing All posts tagged under »sarcasm«

Sex and the Sixty-Year-Old: A Few Quickies for Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2013

39

  For those of you who were starting think that my friend Susan had extricated herself from the maws of online dating, rest assured that she has only taken a small step back and has managed to keep her fingers mostly intact. She has had several email and phone conversations, only one of which has […]

Hmmm…Aren’t You Forgetting Something?, a guest post by Mrs. Cap’n Firepants

February 7, 2013

23

 Mrs. Cap’n Firepants,  (which might rival Dr Seuss for Most Memorable Pen Name)  writes that she is “the distinguished authoress of the blog, What I Meant 2 Say.”   She also writes that “she completely defied aging until about two years ago – when she acquired the infamous and extremely destructive bulldog, Wonderbutt. Now, her wrinkles outnumber the dog’s. […]

How to Score A Husband by Valentine’s Day 2014

February 5, 2013

51

For those young single women out there who are contemplating celebrating yet another Valentine’s Day changing the kitty litter and searching for ex-boyfriends on Facebook, a new book by Suzanne Venker assures you that you will have a devoted husband at your side by the time the next chocolate-bloated Valentine’s Day rolls around. Venker says all you […]

Sex and the Sixty-Year-Old: Evolution Has Come to This

January 26, 2013

64

It’s believed that humans originated about 200,000 years ago in the Middle Paleolithic period.  According to Wikipedia, they began to experience “full behavioral modernity” about 50,000 years ago. Susan, in joining a new dating site, has apparently discovered a pool of Homo Sapiens Sapiens who managed to avoid the shift to full behavioral modernity.  Fortunately, I’m […]

Woman Drives 900 Miles Out of Her Way After GPS Error

January 16, 2013

29

When this blogger saw the above headline on Yahoo News, she was sure the article was written about her.  But a quick check of her surroundings informed her that she was, as usual, seated in front of her laptop, wearing her pajamas.  She breathed a sigh of relief and wrote the following in response to […]

Sex and the Sixty (Year Old): eSmarmony

January 15, 2013

29

In an effort to stay off the online dating sites, my friend Susan decided to sell her condo, move into an apartment, furnish the entire apartment, and start hosting dinner parties.  After awhile, though, she ran out of spaces to decorate and got sick of eating leftover salmon.  She was forced to go revisit the […]

A Short Tech Support Call With Apple

January 11, 2013

38

Abble, ken I halp you? Uh, yes, I am trying to get an app for my iPhone and Apple won’t recognize my user name or password.  This has happened to me several times before. I ken halp you.  Vhat iss your passvort? Uh, that’s why I am calling you.  Apple doesn’t recognize my password. Vaht ver you trying […]

Sex and the Sixty (Year Old): A Bloody Bad Date

January 9, 2013

55

Believe it or not, my friend Susan is not the only woman who has dibs on interesting and creepy dating experiences.  My friend Gayane, jealous of Susan’s newfound notoriety, has shared her latest date with me on eHarmony. For those of you who are unfamiliar with eHarmony, either because you are married or partnered or currently […]

Get Shorty

January 7, 2013

39

If you are a Boomer, you may have noticed that people your exact height are taller than you.  This phenomenon occurs when Boomers continue to believe they are the same height and weight they were when they were in high school or college or the military, and then a random occurrence forces them to be […]

Living Large After Death

January 3, 2013

23

Despite opposition from some members of his Republican party, and despite 87% of the American population being unable to pronounce his name correctly, John Boehner today won a second term as US Speaker of the House. In another joyous development, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter have been deemed safe listening fare by the Pentagon, while anything […]

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