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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »mishap«
SlutWalks
June 21, 2011
The all-time winner of the Foot in Mouth Award is local Toronto police official Michael Sanguinetti who spoke to an assembled crowd at Osgoode Law School to discuss public safety issues. According Ronda Bessner, an Assistant Dean at the school, “He (Sanguinetti) said, ‘”I’m not supposed to say this, but to prevent being sexually assaulted, avoid dressing like […]
Zombie Pustules From Outer Space
April 25, 2011
There are a lot of rules that are important to one’s medical health. One is: Don’t have a medical emergency on Easter Sunday. The other is: If you have to have a medical emergency on Easter Sunday, don’t talk about “Mafia Wives.” My friend Joyce broke both of those rules. The day went like this: Arrival of […]
This Ain’t No Grey’s Anatomy
April 20, 2011
Joyce, a close friend of mine who lives in Florida, took a fall a couple days ago. I was visiting my son in Charleston when the phone call came to tell me what had happened. I flew home, packed, turned around and flew to Florida to spend a week helping to take care of her. Her surgery […]
Lost in Space
March 30, 2011
Actual items LBL has lost, which are now orbiting the earth According to Newsweek, NASA scientists want to build a cheap, earthbound laser that could zap away the “space junk” orbiting the earth. The zapper wouldn’t make the items disappear. Rather it would simply push the debris further out into space, so that incoming spacecraft […]
Passenger Creates Kindle Mayhem on Transatlantic Flight
March 25, 2011
Life in the Boomer Lane’s flight back from London was uneventful except for one item of note. At some point during the trip, LBL fell asleep and was awakened by a loud clunk. When her brain cleared, she realized her Kindle must have slid off her lap. LBL then proceeded to do the Airline Dance in which […]
Taxes and Other Communicable Diseases
March 14, 2011
“She didn’t make her quarterlies on time.” This year, I sailed breezily through tax preparation time. No fretting, no anguish. This is because I was entirely too busy making cute cuff bracelets to focus on doing any prep work in anticipation of visiting the tax preparer. When, on Tuesday, I finally removed the glue that had […]
The Rite of Spring
March 8, 2011
Most people know it’s spring because of sudden, all consuming, uncontrollable thoughts of love. Or the sight of the first shock of color against a grey-smeared landscape. Or the heady, intoxicating, sweetly ephemeral scent of the air. Not Life in the Boomer Lane. She knows it’s spring because the ants are back in her pantry. Over the […]
Fashion Begins At Home
February 3, 2011
Now Husband Dan will tell you (as will the mailman, random neighbors, Girl Scout cookie vendors, and UPS delivery people) that I am wont to change into my sleeping attire at any hour of the day, as long as I know I’m not leaving the house again. Sleep attire for me consists of an assortment […]
YKAJMiB!RK1!
January 31, 2011
We all now live at the bottom of an unruly, festering and ever-growing mountain of passwords and pins. I, personally, have run through the names of my entire family, all past bra sizes, and the names of at least three of my ill-fated turtles in elementary school in an attempt to come up with a […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Word to Your Mother
July 21, 2011
28
Adult children are generally like people who work at the same office with us. We see them on a regular basis and we might even have lunch with them or go out for drinks after work or even go to their house for dinner. We know things about their personal lives, especially when they are […]