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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »humor«
The Disturning Truth About How We Treat Our Pubic Hair
In this mostly (except for one hysterically non-correct presidential wannabe) politically correct world, abuse of any kind is considered unacceptable. An alert (and most likely having nothing better to do) reader has sent Life in the Boomer Lane an article about the latest form of abuse: pubic hair. Or, more specifically, how women injure […]
A Short Conversation Between Roger Stone and The National Enquirer
March 28, 2016
(Phone rings) National Enquirer, here. If it bites, we write. If it shrieks, we leak. If it smells, we yell. Uh, hi. I have a story that you guys should write. OK. Hillary Adopts Bill’s Alien Love Child? Elvis-Worshipping Tribe Found in Jungle? Brangelina Double Sex Change Surgery? GOP Considers Bigfoot Nomination? Severed […]
Study Finds Cat Owners to be Complete Losers
March 21, 2016
Throughout the history of the planet, most species have evolved in a predictable manner. The ones who avoided extinction became more adept at survival, either through brute force or through domestication. Only cats and Republicans refused to adapt, and both are currently suffering the consequences. We shall leave the Republicans to their own devices, while […]
Buying Stuff From China
March 14, 2016
China has been accused of a lot of bad things, lately. Donald Trump believes the Chinese started climate change. The recent discovery that Lumber Liquidators has been selling cacinogenic wood flooring from China has been all over the news. Added to that is carcinogenic drywall being sold throughout the US. What few people talk about, though, […]
Teaching Old People How to Drive Better
March 11, 2016
A close friend of Life in the Boomer Lane is now teaching an AARP refresher course for senior drivers. The class is being held in Florida, in an area known for chiropractors, podiatrists, and over-55 mobile home communities. LBL’s friend, whom we shall call Bernice (and Bernie for short, in honor of her favorite […]
Putting the Us Back in UterUs
March 9, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane has noticed that, in addition to car keys, cell phones, and Kindles, she has also lost body parts. Her knee, brain cells, the better parts of several teeth, several inches of height, and her uterus are now history. She had thought these were gone for good, until she saw […]
The Well-Dressed Closet
March 3, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane was standing at her curb, yesterday, depositing a carton into the recycling bin, before the recycling truck was ro arrive. A woman was walking by with her dog. She stopped in front of LBL and complimented her on her cute little workout top (Forever 21, really cheap). LBL thanked […]
The New Hampshire Nipple Bill
March 2, 2016
Lest you thought that New Hampshire was only known for primaries and the Pitco Frialator, you would be wrong, especially this year. With the exit of the politicians, media, pizza delivery people, and professional make up artists from the state on February 9, New Hampshire did not revert to its usual no-news condition. New Hampshire has […]
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Orgasm and Aging
February 24, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane is many things to may people: wife, mother, grandmother, friend, cousin, niece, Marshalls and TJ Maxx shopper, and now orgasm expert. She acquired this last moniker when she was called by two friends yesterday evening, who each got on the line to “ask her advice about something.” Because LBL gives […]
A Short Phone Conversation Between Donald Trump and Kanye West
February 22, 2016
(Trump’s phone rings, and he answers) Hello, person who loves me. Build that wall. Ban Muslims. Carry guns. Repeal Obamacare. Boycott Megyn Kelly’s show. Wear my hats and tee shirts. Vote for me. Make America great again. Hey Donald, Yeezy here. So I heard that you said you were the most popular person who […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
March 30, 2016
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