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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »aging«
Huff/Post 40. Not.
July 28, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
The Huffington Post announced it would be launching a new site aimed at Baby Boomers, called “Huff/Post 40.” The site will be edited by Rita Wilson, wife of Tom Hanks. Rita seems like a nice enough person. She and Tom have been married since 1988, which, in Hollywood, translates to approximately 161 years. At 54,Wilson is […]
The Aliens Have Landed and They Are Us
July 13, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
The Washington Post, in an article titled “Aging America,” about what cities are doing to accommodate older citizens, has called attention to an alarming observation: “People are getting old fast.” This can’t be good news for Boomers, who had believed that the aging process, as frustrating as it might have been, at least followed a […]
How to Ride A Bike For 97 Years
June 6, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Octavio Orduno is a 103 year old cyclist. He doesn’t compete in races. He merely rides his bike all day. He does so without his glasses, because he doesn’t like to wear them. His wife, exasperated by her failure to convince him to wear glasses, was at least able to convince him to switch recently to […]
How to Live Forever
May 4, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Newsweek has an article called “How to Live Forever.” In spite of that intriguing title, the article isn’t about living with your children or in the nursing home until the universe is finished being the universe and moves on to being something else. If everyone really could live forever, it would bring up other issues. Like […]
Lost in Space
March 30, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Actual items LBL has lost, which are now orbiting the earth According to Newsweek, NASA scientists want to build a cheap, earthbound laser that could zap away the “space junk” orbiting the earth. The zapper wouldn’t make the items disappear. Rather it would simply push the debris further out into space, so that incoming spacecraft […]
That’s not my purse. It’s my kidney.
March 28, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
In an attempt to add body snatching to the list of endangered job descriptions, scientists are perfecting ways to grow organs (the kind usually found inside the body) in a lab. These “bioartificial” organs are identical to the ones produced when your father grabbed his crotch one day and whispered sweet nothings into your mother’s […]
Ask Me About My Colonoscopy
March 19, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
When burying people up to their necks in sand and releasing ants to crawl all over their heads became passe, someone invented the colonoscopy. Colonoscopies are especially important for people over the age of 50 because it provides them with the need for something that no one ever told them about and which can’t be spelled anyway. […]
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How to Be Old Without Calling Attention to Yourself
August 28, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
50
(photo credit to: www.osocio.org) Many of you might notice, as you cross the threshold of fifty and then sixty, that as you age, entire other populations of people seem to be getting younger. Doctors, especially, seem to have gone directly from playing with plastic medical kits to wielding sharp, scary metal instruments, usually in […]