Words of My Fantasy Democratic Candidate for President 2020

Posted on November 6, 2017


(Note to Readers: Life in the Boomer Lane has recently been appalled by the predictable silence that has followed the Vegas massacre, the proposed new tax code,  the administration announcement that fossil fuels will prevent both sexual abuse and reduce climate change, and a just-viewed recruitment video posted by the NRA in June. And now, 26 people have been gunned down while they worshipped in a church in Texas. A clever, sarcastic post will not suffice.

She apologizes for her wrath and for her language. She is having a temporary out-of-body event, and she is sure that she will eventually settle down. In the meantime, she requests that no gun groupies, Trumpers, Fox news watchers, or anyone associated with the alt-right respond. She will not publish your comments. This may be the land of free speech, but LBL rules her own blog.)


I have had enough. I will no longer seek compromise or conciliation or try to be politically correct. My arms are not long enough to reach across the fabled “aisle” and, even if they were, I have lost the desire to do so.

I call you out, GOP, for allowing the worst of you to run the best of you. For forgetting that you used to be a party of integrity, rather than a pack of wild dogs, always following the scent of blood. For having ideals and not blindly stroking a madman who promised to upend the presidency, with no understanding or consideration of the final result.

We have had enough. We will become as crazy and as outrageous as you have become. We will take our own party to its extreme, just as you have done with yours. Your extreme is defined by fear.  Ours will be defined by its opposite. We will shock and horrify you because we will stand for a country that serves the mainstream, and we will make good on that. Hear this: The policies we pass will build a stronger middle class and will give those who aspire to the middle class a better way to reach it.  We will not promote the idea that putting more money into the pockets of the wealthiest of us will somehow benefit the rest of us. Hear this: We will include the people who you would exclude, or who simply scare you, because they look different from you or have chosen a way of life that differs from yours.

I call you out, NRA, for corrupting the Second Amendment, as a way to make money. For convincing a generation of people to believe that guns are not enough. That only arsenals are enough. That these arsenals must kill as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time. That children must die, in the name of personal freedom. That only guns can stop gun violence. That the elected representatives of Congress who have been bought and paid by you, have a greater allegiance to you than to the people they were elected to serve. That you have the right to produce propaganda videos that are every bit as hateful and as dangerous as films produced by Nazis during WWII.

We have had enough. We will take away your ability to turn a profit from the elevation of death to a high art form. We will stop honoring the make-believe version of the Second Amendment that you have created. We will stop your profits and see how many people, without your encouragement, continue to buy guns. We will stop your profits and see how many Congressmen, without your funding, continue to ignore the dead piling up all around them.

I call you out, conservative media, for debasing the craft of journalism.  For spewing hate, instead of presenting truth. For spoon-feeding your viewers junk-food news, instead of the far more difficult task of presenting news in a way that allows people to think and to form their own opinions.

We have had enough.  You have the right to speak, but we have the right to respond. We will fact-check everything you say, in real-time.  You will not be able to continue to dupe your listeners.

Climate deniers, gay bashers, misogynists, alt-righers, Nazis, gun junkies, and anti-immigrationists: You are outliers. You do not define us or this country.  You have added nothing positive to our history. We are stronger than you are.  There is no longer any room in this country for your voices.