Finding Older Single Men: Part 1

It’s no secret that the US population is aging. The over-65 population numbered 40.4 million in 2010, an increase of 5.4 million or 15.3% since 2000. Baby boomers make up 35% of the American adult population. By 2015, those aged 50 and older will represent 45% of the U.S. population.

If you are an older single women, you are now saying, “Yes, I know our numbers are increasing. Every singles event I sign up for has a huge wait list. Then, if I actually can get a spot, there are no men in sight. I have paid for highlights and a mani-pedi on more occasions than I’d like to admit, just to spend the evening bullshitting with a bunch of other single women.

If you can relate to this, the following might be a surprise to you: The current number of older Americans includes a larger proportion of men, given their increasing life expectancy. In 1990 there were only 82.7 men for every 100 women aged 65-plus. As of 2010, the US Census Bureau reported that figure was up to 90.5 men per 100 women, courtesy of the narrowing differential in mortality rates.

The implications of this new data are important. With men, in general, living longer, and with the veritable (also a favored word) tsunami of boomers continuing to crash over into the age 65 demographic whether they want to or not, the general population is being warned not to make the mistake of taking this situation too lightly. The last time a fatal underestimation occurred concerning a shifting demographic was in 1565 when the first European settlers stepped onto North American soil. It is now known that a small group of Native Americans who actually witnessed this event turned to each other and said, “I don’t think this is such a big deal. It’s only a shipload and they look sort of stupid anyway.”

In this new case, the Indians win. LBL is not unaware of the skepticism on your face. Just relax, and let her continue. You didn’t have to sign up or pay money to read this, so just behave yourself and let LBL continue.

Added to the ever-increasing numbers of older single men is the fairly new finding that women do not, as was formerly believed, have a sexual peak. It is now known that a woman’s libido varies across the decades, and is impacted by a variety of factors aside from age. A healthy libido can exist decades past age 65.

Back in 2005, the legendary sex expert, Dr Ruth Westheimer, now age 113, was called out of retirement to write a book titled Dr Ruth’s Sex After 50, and to appear on YouTube. She explained that seniors can take several easy steps to recreate the excitement (even including sexual) they lost sometime during the George W Bush administration.

LBL sees you straining in your seat with your hand up. She knows you want to tell her that she has just heaped insult onto injury. If single women can’t find single men to begin with, then why is it a good thing that they do the not-finding while they are having raging libidos? Isn’t the bottom line that if, indeed, single men exist, where the f**k are they (the work f**k being used here as an expletive, since there is no hope of it ever being used as a word denoting sexual fornication)?

LBL, in her ongoing commitment to improve the lives of people who pay her nothing to read her stuff, has gone to the source. The National Association of Single Senior Woman responded with, “We haven’t had evidence of the existence of older single men in any real numbers since about 1999, so this is huge. There have been random sightings, of course, but nothing has been verified. Our attempt, in 2004, to start a leg banding program had to be shelved, as the men just seemed to go deeper underground.” A spokesman for the National Association of Single Men couldn’t be reached, since there is no association, nor spokesman, nor anyone who cares.

In sum, since science, research, and Dr Ruth are of no help whatsoever, where is the silver lining for single boomer  women?

We are glad you asked. And here is the answer: The men are out there. They are everywhere (even getting their own mani-pedis at stations near you in the nail salon). You are not seeing them. And when you do see them, meaning when you are even seated directly across from them, you are still not seeing them. You are guilty of doing to older men exactly what you accuse the world of doing to you: making them invisible.

LBL can hear you screeching in protest. She now gives you a choice. Head for the Exit or wait patiently for Part 2. LBL’s attention span lasts only so long as a writer, and she fears that yours lasts for even a shorter time as a reader. So, stay tuned. Maybe LBL will tell you something that you had actually never thought of. Hopefully, it will be worth it. If not, like she has alluded to before, you haven’t signed up or paid any money to read this. So, no big loss. Go out and use the money you saved to have another mani-pedi and forget you ever read this.