
Life in the Boomer Lane, like anyone else except someone in the witness protection program, loves receiving packages. Jut the sight of a box on the front porch lifts her spirits for the entire day. Even if the package has “Prime” printed all over it, LBL will happily throw herself into the gaping maw of Amazon in order to get something, anything, from the porch into the house. January is always virtually package-free, as LBL has already purchased everything she can for the grandchildren and for herself in her annual holiday buying spree.
It was thus a surprise to see the familiar Amazon box on her porch last week. LBL assumed this was a gift she had ordered back in November or early January that was just making its way to her. She opened the box. Inside was a bright pink, plastic plug-in coffee mug warmer, with an illustration of a rabbit’s face. An astonishing lack of taste aside, LBL was touched that one of her kids would have thoughtfully provided this for her. But there was nothing inside to identify the sender.
Texts to her kids resulted in mutual responses of “Not me. Cool idea.” The rabbit face mug warmer was decidedly not a cool idea. LBL knew that none of her kids would ever allow it to see the light of day in their own homes. But she plugged it in anyway and sat it on her desk. She pressed the button so that the cat’s nose lit up. She placed her coffee mug on it. The rabbit face mug warmer started at her but kept her coffee no warmer than the ceramic coaster she used to use.
Several days later, another Amazon box arrived. Now, LBL was a bit apprehensive as she brought it into the house. She opened it anyway. The box contained a pair of bright blue gaming headphones. As the last video game LBL had played was Pac-Man, back when the game first came out and LBL’s kids were eager to show it to her, she couldn’t imagine who would have sent her this.
She checked her Amazon order history. No rabbit face coffee mug warmer. No bright blue gaming headphones. She called Amazon. They looked up the items. They found the person who ordered them and told her name to LBL. The name was unfamiliar to her. LBL asked who paid for these items. She was told that the same woman who ordered them, paid for them. She was told that the woman would be notified of what happened and Amazon would send LBL a label so she could return the items.
LBL now checks her front porch constantly, looking for another Amazon box. So far, nothing. She also thinks constantly about why (and how) someone she doesn’t know would (and could) order items, pay for them, and send them to her. Is this a new age reverse-type scam, something of which LBL is unfamiliar? Is it some kind of hitherto unknown form of psychological warfare? Or does LBL have a secret benefactor, someone with a penchant for plug in rabbit face coffee mug warmers and bright blue gaming headphones?
If this last possibility is the case, and if such person is one of her Loyal Readers, LBL will be happy to provide you with items that she would actually love to acquire. Simply write to her and she will share these with you. But, please, don’t send anything else until you have checked with her. Many thanks.
Kate Crimmins
January 11, 2019
This is a mystery. I can assure you they weren’t for me. I would have chosen a purple coffee warmer for sure!
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 12, 2019
It would have been an improvement.
RetirementallyChallenged.com
January 11, 2019
This is a scam called “brushing” that is happening more and more. Could indicate that your personal info has been compromised. Google something like “receiving unordered amazon packages” for more info. In the meantime, enjoy your coffee warmer!
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 12, 2019
Thanks for the heads up. I looked it up. The explanation was mostly that vendors did it so that they could put positive reviews on for their own products. Seems like an expensive way to do it. It also said that it means someone has my name and address, but doesn’t the world have that by now? I’m not making light of it. I’ll certainly monitor my credit cards even more closely than I do already.
Andrew Reynolds
January 11, 2019
Space Aliens. The coffee mug warmer is really a mind control device – they hacked Amazon computers to send these to millions of people. Good thing you got rid of it fast or you’d be buying an xBox console to plug the headphones into. That’s how the Aliens are gaining control of all humanity. If a friend of yours gets a rabbit coffee mug warm, smash it and take your friend to the nearest Starbucks for a latte (two is better) – which is the only known antidote to Alien mind control methods.
Yes, Starbucks and all the coffee houses in the world are the front line of space alien resistance…
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 12, 2019
Does the advent of space aliens also explain the state of the world right now? Or the state of this country? There must be something to explain it. Can Starbuck help with that? If so, I will bring my toothbrush to the nearest Starbucks and stay there for the duration.
Andrew Reynolds
January 12, 2019
When was the last time you saw a world leader get a drink at Starbucks?
The aliens arrived in 1947 and are responsible for all the problems we currently have.
Widdershins
January 12, 2019
That’s just what Starbucks wants you to think. The real resistance movement is with Tim Hortons. 😀
that little voice
January 12, 2019
This is the work of angels gone awry, earning their wings with little direction and no supervision. Fear not, they will mature and soon you will be receiving art suppies with instructions to paint your deepest frustrations, which will not be difficult when what you really wanted was a microphone to shout obscenities to the heavens
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 14, 2019
I seriously love your comment. Alas: Little direction and no supervision. That sort of describes a lot right now.
Widdershins
January 12, 2019
How peculiar. 🙂
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 14, 2019
Yes, but no more so than the state of the world right now. BTW, I had to look up Tim Hortons.
Widdershins
January 14, 2019
😀 .. best coffee and doughnuts anywhere! 😀
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 15, 2019
Canada just keeps sounding better and better.
Widdershins
January 15, 2019
You’re welcome anytime! 😀