Mimi, the author of Waiting for the Karma Truck, has asked me not to include her words about the karma truck in her bio, here. But, because I am a ten-year-old boy at heart, I am doing exactly that:
“What do I want to tell you? I guess the same thing I say to everyone – the karma truck rolls up everyone’s driveway. Believe me. You may not be there to see it, you may never know it arrived definitively – but it’s on the road and it has the correct address. At the risk of sounding terribly hokey, you have to trust in the universe, God, Lou – whoever. That truck is on a mission and it hasn’t missed a delivery yet.”
I’m not an expert on karma, but I must have been doing something right to have discovered Mimi’s blog. She is unfailingly wise and literate and clever. And I will follow her karma truck anywhere.
*****
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone” — Andy Rooney
While my husband is happily reliving his boyhood fantasy of being a professional baseball player, I’m enjoying the luxury of solitude and trying to creatively clothe myself in enough layers to stay warm in these arctic temperatures. I spent a ridiculous amount of time yesterday reading the February editions of ‘Vogue’, ‘Elle’, ‘Bazaar’ and ‘Allure’. I am loathe to admit that I now spend more time on the articles than the fashion (isn’t’ that what every guy used to say about ‘Playboy’ magazine?). I have lived long enough to see that sartorially, there is nothing new under the sun. Most outfits which look interesting on a heavily Photo-shopped teenager with thighs no wider than her upper arms will undoubtedly look bizarre on me. The appropriateness of photographing girls who have yet to graduate high school, and intimating that they represent ‘every woman’ is a subject for another day.
One magazine has a section titled “Fabulous At Every Age” which features different looks and color palettes for decades spanning from the 20’s through the 60’s. I think I get it – I’m at the age where I shouldn’t wear super short skirts, transparent blouses or an abundance of sequins (I’m particularly bummed about the sequins). I also shouldn’t wear red lipstick without blotting it first (so that it doesn’t get caught in any wrinkles around my lips), nor a shade of pink that screams ‘old lady’, and a ‘nude’ lip doesn’t offer my face any ‘life’. The implication is that my eternal search for the perfect jeans, blush and lipstick will continue without any considered guidance. And I’m thinking that leggings and a long top is ok, as long ask it doesn’t scream ‘Chico’s’ (though there is nothing wrong with Chico’s).
It’s also safe to assume that despite the dearth of any relevant fashion suggestions for boomers like me, there is a virtual plethora of articles directed to those of us who engage in a daily debate with gravity. I guess this is how publishers have determined they can best appeal to every demographic. Pictures for the younger woman and articles written in the smallest font possible for women like me. I read a myriad of articles about the newest and most amazing innovations in skin care and cosmetic surgeries developed to smooth, lift, firm and sculpt. I wasn’t particularly sculpted as a kid, so the thought of someone re-defining my shape now strikes me as a little disingenuous, unless it occurs through exercise and in the occasional vial of Restylane. I’ve had too many non-elective surgeries to choose to have one for cosmetic purposes. For those who have been fortunate enough to have reached their renaissance without requisite cutting and stapling, I can see the appeal. To embrace the possibilities inherent with looking young throughout a long-lived life, while never appearing to get old.
I would be a liar if I didn’t admit to my own ambivalence about this entire issue. I still (heavily) highlight my very grey hair, I continually hope that Renova is truly going to do something incredible and I will wait for the final word on non-invasive techniques for preventing my jowls from resting on my clavicles. Yet, I also shake my head in amazement when I see women who probably need liquid tears because their eyelids have been tightened to the point where they can no longer close, eyebrows that can’t rise with excitement or wonder and smiles that appear as unfortunate grimaces. It is clear that I haven’t made peace with this issue – or perhaps my peace changes from day-to-day. In many ways I think I look better now then I did then – with the caveat that I not define ‘then’. I feel freer in my skin, without any internal parental censor critiquing my appearance. I like going to the gym and seeing what my body can do. I wear less make-up than I did as a young woman, and I don’t frighten myself when I look in the mirror. It’s my expectation that my thoughts on living a long life while resisting growing old will morph and change along with me. But for now, I’ll modestly argue with the physical effects of aging and lovingly embrace the wisdom that comes with being of a certain age.
Lynn Schneider
January 24, 2013
What a lovely, well-written article. I think I better follow Mimi.
mimijk
January 24, 2013
Thank you for the kind words Renee – and for listening to your ten year old (despite my embarrassment)..I hope your readers enjoy!
mimijk
January 24, 2013
Reblogged this on Waiting for the Karma Truck and commented:
I love Renee’s blog “Life In The Boomer Lane” (lifeintheboomerlane.wordpress.com) and was flattered when she asked me to write a guest post. Here it is for your enjoyment..
mercyn620
January 24, 2013
So very well stated. I am not a fan of cosmetic surgery, never had it and never will, but do what I can to look OK (for my age) by eating healthy, exercising, and not overdoing the makeup so I look like a clown. And I try to wear clothes in which I do not look ridiculous!
mimijk
January 24, 2013
I try to avoid ridiculous and strive to look well for my age…Some days are better than others. 🙂
donnaanddiablo
January 24, 2013
Great post by a dear friend who’s beautiful no matter how much (or little) makeup she’s wearing or the outfit she’s sporting. :-). This constant pursuit of the fountain of youth is crazy, I think. I’ve decided that it’s best to “age gracefully,” doing what one can do naturally (exercising, eating healthily, etc.) to combat the inevitable effects of stress, the passage of time, and the inexorable pull of gravity. To my mind,mThere’s nothing more attractive than a face that speaks of a life well lived….great job, Mimi! 🙂
mimijk
January 24, 2013
Hi Lori – thank you for commenting (in boh places!)…I think the most youthful quality in a face is the sincerity of the smile and the joy that it suggests. And you my friend, just make everyone around you smile, so it is my hope that you receive that back tenfold..
Jo
January 24, 2013
I’m still working on the descriptive use of “jowls”. Mimi, you wrap it all up and tie it together with humor and grace. This guest post is perfection. Wish you were closer so I could hug you now – but the wrinkles in my neck will get stuck in your clothes.
mimijk
January 25, 2013
Laughing – no worries, I ‘feel’ your hugs everyday Jo..and I don’t think we’re at the point where we will struggle with wrinkle entanglement!!
ProSona
January 24, 2013
wow
mimijk
January 25, 2013
I hope that’s a good ‘wow’?
ProSona
January 25, 2013
yes, it is
mimijk
January 25, 2013
🙂 I’m so glad..
Seeing Clarely
January 24, 2013
I’m with you on the matter of having “had too many non-elective surgeries to choose to have one for cosmetic purposes.” It annoys me to see fashion magazine articles on the “older woman” that stop with a movie star who has made it to about 50.
mimijk
January 25, 2013
Me too – and there need to be more over 50 women that ‘get the nod’ besides Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren and Jane Fonda (Judi Dench and Maggie Smith included).
Bonnie
January 25, 2013
FANTASTIC post Mimi…absolutely perfect. You personify beauty in the truest form: wit, compassion, talent, honesty and acceptance of not only yourself but those in your circle of warmth. I have only applause for women of any age, who allow themselves to, well, age…seeing the wisdom is what defines beauty. And that you have in spades my dear, spades. Here’s to grey hair, jowls and eyebrows with mobility. xo
mimijk
January 25, 2013
Well I can’t claim to embracing it completely – after all, I am still looking for magic elixirs and highlights that last longer than five weeks…:-) But the purest beauty is inside, without question, and I am grateful that you see me the way you do..xo
David Kanigan
January 25, 2013
I veer wide on the topic of aging but (a) have fierce opposition to face sculpting and (b) love your crafting of words, music to my ears.
mimijk
January 25, 2013
Thank you my friend – I span a pretty wide gamut on the subject too, but am really tickled that you liked the post.
elizabeth2560
January 25, 2013
Hello Mimi. You have really topped if off now. To devote an entire post to reading a fashion magazine and sucking us all into not only reading it, but reading it enthusiastically (your post that is, not the magazine!)
🙂
mimijk
January 25, 2013
Laughing – I’m so happy you liked it (and I didn’t even hear the sucking noise!! ) 😉
elizabeth2560
January 26, 2013
🙂
Snoring Dog Studio
January 25, 2013
Loved the post. I think we should all just stop comparing ourselves with each other and with younger women. You want to take advantage of some cosmetic enhancements? Go ahead! We need to stop sneering at women who feel a bit better by having a little Botox and Juvederm. I’m still working and close to 60 years old now. I still experience ageism at work. So, if I want to take advantage of some cosmetic procedures that help me look and feel younger, it’s done for good reasons. Our society is entirely too harsh towards women in their later years. I wish it were not so.
mimijk
January 25, 2013
I agree with you – thus my own personal ambivalence and occasional Restylane vial. At the same time, I think there are some women who overdo the options that are out there, and end up looking like caricatures of themselves. I suppose I am an advocate of moderation. The excessive surgeries and treatments is disconcerting to me. Is this a reaction to our own societal biases? Perhaps. In my view it’s a function of multiple catalysts – social, a skewed self-image, and an innate tendency to go to extremes in other areas as well. As I’ve said, were it not for the fact that I have had so many requisite visits to operating rooms, I may approach the choices I make to look well very differently. And I certainly feel strongly that the bottom line is feeling good about yourself.
Snoring Dog Studio
January 26, 2013
Well, said!
benzeknees
January 26, 2013
I agree with everything being said here except for a very well endowed woman, gravity has not been kind in any way & it will continue to be unkind. My bosom is now around my waist & is causing horrendous back aches. I too have had more than my fair share of non-elective surgery & so wouldn’t willingly have more surgery – except to maybe get a breast reduction for my comfort, not for any fashionable sense.
mimijk
January 26, 2013
I think that the issues you are dealing with are far more compelling than anything I’ve written. Discomfort trumps gravity, backaches outweigh vanity and are both far more serious. And under any circumstance, I support whatever you choose to do. Thank you for commenting..
Valentine Logar
January 27, 2013
If I tried I would not be able to say it better. Wonderfully done.
mimijk
January 28, 2013
Thank you so much!