For those of you who live someplace other than the bottom of my clothes-to-be-ironed basket, you are aware that the world is always changing. And pregnancy, childbirth and young motherhood have changed along with it. I am aware of this because I have an 18 month old grandson, Jonah. Although he looks remarkably like the three babies I have already raised to adulthood (my ex’s family in possession of a superhuman genetic stock that, in my case, created beautiful babies who LOOK NOTHING LIKE their mother or grandmother), his life in utero and his life since have differed from that of my own three children and from the generations that preceded him.
There are five main categories in which differences have occurred:
1. Pregnancy, i.e.: Is there a baby in your belly or are you just happy to see me?
100,000 years ago: Women didn’t know they were pregnant because they were too busy running from dinosaurs mastodons and other cavemen with clubs
My generation: Scientific achievement had advanced pretty far but it didn’t generally allow us to know the sex of the baby that would pop out. And, if we carried non-human babies like Rosemary did, nobody knew until it was too late.
My daughter’s generation: Thanks to private healthcare in the UK, my daughter had seven ultrasounds while she was pregnant. I think the rule was to have an ultrasound everytime the baby changed position. But most women now have two or three ultrasounds during the course of a pregnancy, thereby allowing the baby to create his own fan page on Facebook while still in gestation phase.
2. Labor and Delivery
100,000 years ago: Babies dropped wherever, were picked up (hopefully by the mother and not by an animal strolling by), then carried for a couple years, strapped to the mom. This eliminated the need for rooming in, co-sleeping, and dragging Pack n Plays across the tundra.
My generation: After thousands of years, scientists rediscovered natural childbirth in ancient texts concealed in caves in modern day Israel. The key to this was to breathe correctly, assuming we were able to count to four while howling like hyenas and begging for narcotics.
My daughter’s generation: Childbirth now goes to the extremes of natural and touchy feelie. Midwives and doulas are more popular than shamans at a Sun Dance. And, thanks to Ricki Lake, home births are climbing steadily, along with chanting with wolves.
3. The Announcement
100,000 years ago: Announcing a new baby was usually not necessary, since everyone who would ever see the child was already there when the baby was born and most didn’t respond favorably. (“Was giving birth now really necessary, Mabel, when we are about to confront the Little Ice Age?”
My generation: We sent cute cards in the mail, with all pertinent information. This did not include photos, since we believed that all babies basically looked alike and we preferred to publicize our offspring after their heads became recognizable as such.
My daughter’s generation: In an attempt to get back to dawn-of-time community birth sharing, the actual delivery is now videotaped, Facebooked, Twittered, texted, Skyped, and uTubed. The only people not aware of the birth when it occurs are those family members who are incarcerated and must wait until it is available on DVD.
4. The Name
Except for The dawn of time, before names were invented, all generations have come up with perfect names for their babies, a lot of which are then changed by siblings and peers to nicknames like Weezer or Lil Butthead.
5. The First Six Months
100,000 years ago: The first six months of the baby’s life were spent nursing and being permanently attached to the mom. Nobody knows if babies cried, because any sounds of crying would be blocked out by roaring dinosaurs mastodons.
My generation: We threw any items into the crib that would shut the baby up and make him go to sleep. This included mobiles, music boxes, blankets, plush toys, and heavy machinery.
My daughter’s generation: Scientists have now discovered that all items normally thought cute, cuddly, and baby-friendly are, in effect, scary lethal weapons. After the period of swaddling and Miracle Blanketing ends, babies must wear skintight clothing and lay on their backs on bare mattresses, approximating incarcerated deep sea divers.
There’s lots more, but this kind of research will cost you. Let me know what it’s worth to you.
carldagostino
December 27, 2010
Men :100,000 ago- Provide food and shelter, early heart attacks due to stress re all of above
Men: Today- Provide food and shelter, early heart attacks due to stress re all
of the above
Men: 100,000 years into the future- Provide food and shelter, early heart attacks due to stress re all of the above.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 27, 2010
Whoa, I think there’s a subtle message here.
Joyce
December 27, 2010
🙂
duke1959
December 27, 2010
What a Great Post!
lifeintheboomerlane
December 28, 2010
Thanks, Duke!
Kathryn McCullough
December 27, 2010
Really fun! I love your observation about naming, especially, as I recently wrote a post called “Re-naming America?”–my own crazy rant about the baby names these days– http://reinventingtheeventhorizon.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/renaming-america/
Happy New Year,
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
December 28, 2010
Thanks, Kathy! I’ll read your post. And Happy 2011!
TexasTrailerParkTrash
December 27, 2010
I had my kids in 1966 and 1971. Both of them weighed almost 9 pounds each. Forget natural childbirth–thank God for epidurals!
lifeintheboomerlane
December 28, 2010
My first was in the posterior position. 45 hours of labor. Hurray for the epidural!
TexasTrailerParkTrash
December 28, 2010
Ouch! My second was in the posterior position. No sonograms in those days, so needless to say it was a bit of a surprise, and too late for a C-section. Wheeee!
writerwoman61
December 28, 2010
“all items normally thought cute, cuddly, and baby-friendly are, in effect, scary lethal weapons” Such a tragedy…I argued with Jim about buying hair-clips for Elise’s stocking for Christmas. “What if she tries to eat them?” he asked. “She’ll be fine,” I assured him. “She’s with her mother all the time!”
Funny post, Renée…I was one of those “counting to four and howling like hyenas” mothers (quite proud to have delivered all three without drugs – including two 10-lbers!)…thanks to my great labour coaches!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
December 28, 2010
Everyone is so sensitive about everything now. Amazing that my kids all survived. And you win the childbirth award. Yikes. I can’t imagine. My 2nd and 3rd were sans drugs, but they were only 5-12 and 8-2.
duke1959
December 28, 2010
I have often wondered how civilization ever made it before all these experts showed up!
lifeintheboomerlane
December 28, 2010
I wonder that a lot.
Walker
December 28, 2010
Great comparisons… I’m struck by how we’ve become more rigid about ‘safety’ which seems contrary…look at us, we made it with germs and the absence of antibacterial soap, and all that crib crap. No one read to me in the womb or shoved computerized toys at me and I’m pretty intelligent. I worry sometimes about these current trends.
Babies with Facebook pages and email addresses?! Yikes.
lifeintheboomerlane
December 28, 2010
When my daughter had her baby shower, I didn’t even recognize about half of the gifts. Everything is changing so fast. I felt like I must have raised my kids in a cave. But, like you said, we all survived and are pretty intelligent.
duke1959
December 28, 2010
For some reason I have been thinking about my dad this morning this song to me says something we lost somewhere along the way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX4QVGykIA4
lifeintheboomerlane
December 29, 2010
The great losses of our lives never diminish. All we can do is to incorporate the best of what they were into who we are. That’s the best way to pay homage to them.
izziedarling
December 28, 2010
Funny, funny, funny. We are so dumb. Was bedridden with first baby last 5 months of pregnancy; visitors would always say, “You can’t go to Lamaze?”; my reply – she will come out anyway. We are SO dumb. Happy New Year! *iz
lifeintheboomerlane
December 29, 2010
So funny! And Happy New Year to you–
cr8df8
January 2, 2011
Oh! Em! Gee! Howlingly, atrociously, HIGH-larious. I had to read through twice just to make myself wheeze properly so I could have the full effect.
My mother has fun pointing out to me that her labors were all of 1-3 hours each, and we just “popped out.” I just don’t understand, she shakes her head, why you took so long… i.e. gasping & grunting for 38 hours, until I finally agreed to a C-section for the 9.7 lb bobble head that came out. I tell mom it’s all the growth hormones in the beef, another great progression we can lord over the cavemen, the suckers, in all their mammothy hunteryness.
And I think I take bit o’umbrage at the very first comment as I sit here providing food and shelter, waiting for early heart attacks due to stress re all of above since husband walked out of the picture leaving self with 3 1/2 year old mini-me. But then I’m still making my way through the maze of Bitter Town, so the humor & truth of that comment is perhaps not registering on my GPS at the moment. And as a “never-visited-your-blog-before-today” visitor, I also realize I’m being socially simple by commenting on a comment of a regular commenter to your blog. Buuuut, since we’ve progressed so much in the past 100,000 years, I figure blunders of this sort aren’t really blunders, they’re just ways of acknowledging our feelings and working through the traumas we suffered at childbirth.
Great blog, wonderful humor, stellar writing. Thank you!
lifeintheboomerlane
January 2, 2011
Uh, I’m seriously blown away by your accolades. For virtually all of my life, I have walked around with a lot of thoughts in my head that turn normal events into circus sideshows. Blogging gives me a place to put such musings. Occasionally, people actually understand what I’m saying. And your reaction to that comment was totally understandable, given your life experience. So many women, far too many, can relate. Every time I hear another story, it hurts my heart. I’m looking at the sentence you wrote about blunders not really being blunders… Wise words, ones that apply to all stages of life and all decisions that didn’t serve us. You will survive, and you will look back on this time and see it very differently than you do now. OK, time to check out your blog now.