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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »sarcasm«
Global Shvitzing
July 10, 2012
(A certain amount of the following information came from The Huffington Post article titled, “Burning Up.” All quotes from NOAA, and Ann Coulter are true. All other quotes have been created by the blogger’s brain synapses, over which she has little control.) A new report finds that the past 12 months have been the warmest […]
Menopause on Pause
July 9, 2012
Loyal reader and gifted fellow blogger Alaina Mabaso has alerted Life in the Boomer Lane to a phenomenon so shocking that LBL had a reason to spit out her organic vegetable slime concoction that she was drinking to atone for having eaten half of a half-gallon of butter pecan ice cream last night. According to The Week’s column […]
Get the Old Off the Road!
June 29, 2012
Getting old is no laughing matter, which is why it is so much fun making jokes about old people. Take driving, for example. As long as one isn’t driving in the same town as an old person, one can get a real chuckle out of the story of 86-year-old Margaret Lazor who drove her station wagon […]
Really Important Stuff That Happened When I Was Gone
June 20, 2012
Because the sum total of the money I have made from blogging approximates that of the current Greek GNP, and because I like to engage in frivolous activities like paying the mortgage, I decided to focus on my real estate career for a while, instead of on my keyboard. Stepping back from blogging for a […]
Divorce, Boomer Style
June 12, 2012
NPR has reported today that, after 115 years together, one couple is calling it quits. Bibi and Poldi are giant tortoises who bonded when they were young. But after more than a century together, Bibi decided she’d had enough. She began biting her partner’s shell. The staff at the Austrian zoo said they’re not sure what caused […]
Wife Swap: Things I Wish I Didn’t Know
May 22, 2012
Editor’s note: The act of blogging follows a consistent path. There is the coming up of ideas; the writing of ideas; the hiding under the table while one weeps; the drinking of coffee laced with rum; the self-loathing followed by self-congratulating and then more self-loathing; the watching of TV; the shaking of the fist at […]
How to Look Great When You Travel
May 21, 2012
For those of you who operate at a higher level than worrying about remembering to pack enough snack food, More Magazine offers an article titled “How to Travel Chic—And in Comfort.” Michael Kors, world-famous celeb designer and judge on the hit TV reality show, Project Runway, offers his top 5 favorite tips for air travel: […]
What Baboons Can Tell Us About Aging and Singles Dances
May 17, 2012
But first, please check out The Byronic Man. Joel, the author, took time from his busy schedule of hilarity to feature Life in the Boomer Lane in his “20 Questions” series. If you like her answers to his questions, let her know. If not, she’ll change them for you. ***** In the countries with the longest life expectancies, […]
How to Find the Perfect Swimsuit
May 15, 2012
Let’s start off with the following disclaimer: The title of this post is about as likely to occur as being asked by George Clooney to an all-you-can eat chocolate festival. Writing a piece about the horrors of swimsuit shopping is about as unique as writing about dieting. And, like dieting, it’s doomed to get really boring. […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Let’s Talk Boobs
July 11, 2012
67
Actually, let’s talk bras, even though they aren’t much fun to talk about. When we start wearing them, they are usually too big and they feel like alien beings have attached themselves to us. Our first heavy make out sessions can involve young men who have seemed up until that point perfectly normal, with all […]