Getting old is no laughing matter, which is why it is so much fun making jokes about old people. Take driving, for example. As long as one isn’t driving in the same town as an old person, one can get a real chuckle out of the story of 86-year-old Margaret Lazor who drove her station wagon through Philly, pulled onto the exit ramp of I-95, and then drove in the wrong direction for 12 miles, happily ignoring the fact that four drivers crashed in an attempt to avoid her.
Driving the wrong way on I-95 seems to be a favorite pastime of drivers in the 85-90+ age range, and, since the number of Americans over age 65 is projected to double between 2010 and 2050, we can expect all lanes of I-95 to start changing direction.
Newsweek, in an article titled “Get the Old Off the Road!” presents a doomsday scenario for the roads of our country. The likelihood of a car crash begins to rise after age 60 and to rise rapidly after age 70. Drivers over 85 are not only twice as likely to crash as teens, they are more than five times as likely to be unaware that they were the ones behind the wheel.
The good news for motorists is that baby boomers are 38 percent more likely than post-boomers to answer basic questions about current events. Knowledge of current events in the elderly population still greatly exceeds that of people in their 20s. So, you can take comfort in the fact that the motorist who is barreling down on you from the wrong direction knows that The Supreme Court just upheld the current health care legislation.
What can be done? Aside from designating all highway lanes as directionally optional, not much. Driving is a symbol of independence, and the elderly won’t give that up without a fight. States can test the elderly more often, but testing is expensive. And elderly drivers protest with their votes, so politicians are loath to come down hard on them. Family members can arrange to have the DMV revoke an elderly family member’s driver’s license, but that elderly person can then revoke their family member’s inheritance.
You are left with three choices:
1. If you live in a town with an old driver, move.
2. If you drive on I-95, don’t.
3. If you are 80-95 and still drive, high-five.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Barneysday
June 29, 2012
As a former I-95 driver, and one closer to 85 than 25, I don’t know how to comment! Great post.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
Thanks, Barney, from someone else who is closer to 85 than 25.
notquiteold
June 29, 2012
My mother at 88 still drives. To the supermarket, senior center, and the all-important hairdresser. They are all within 1 miles of her house. But she’s a terrible driver now and she knows it. But as you said – it is a terrible dilemma because she wants to be independent and she needs to get out of the house. At least she avoids the highway and she parks VERY FAR away from anyone else.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
As long as she stays away from I-95….
Melanie Bruce
June 29, 2012
LMAO– I live in a town with a huge retirement population and a university. Between the youngsters and the oldsters, we’ve been declared the worst drivers in the state. Finally, we are numero uno in something!
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
Where do you live? I will make sure to delete that town from my GPS system.
Sandra Parsons
June 29, 2012
Fun post, loooove the picture. Would have been even more fun though if my grandmother, aged 86 hadn’t been in an accident the other day – unbeknownst to herself. Nothing major, but still…
I sometimes think that the cost involved with her raised insurance premium could well be worth thinking about selling the car and taking a taxi if need be. Of course, that’s in Berlin where public transport is a treat compared to anywhere else I’ve been to in my life.
As you say, there seems to be no easy way out. Unless you count lower life expectancy due to higher involvement in car crashs 😉
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
It’s a real conundrum. Maybe cars should be like Bump-it cars with totally humongous rubber bumpers and when a certain number of them touch each other, all traffic stops.
pegoleg
July 2, 2012
The sad/funny/true line in this is “unbeknownst to herself”. 9 times out of 10 old people don’t even KNOW they hit something!
Sandra Parsons
July 2, 2012
I hear you. Came as a bit of a shock to herself when she found out. At least now she will only drive during daylight, but her independence is very important to her and she is not ready yet to give it up completely.
Laurie Mirkin
June 29, 2012
My father, at 88, drove like he was a teenager. I remember having a white-knuckle grip on the upholstery when I drove with him. My mother was a terrible driver at any age, so I was ecstatic to see her stop in her 60’s. When you live in Florida you have to pretend you’re on a mine field and keep your distance from the ancient around you. Taking a license away from an elderly person is like taking any independence they had. It’s a tough call. Some days my driving is probably worse, reaching into my pocketbook going 70 mph and trying to find a lipstick. I really have to have a talk with myself with I do those things.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
I have a horror of newspaper headlines that blare “Short post-menopausal woman crashes car while eating Haagan Dazs out of the container.”
pegoleg
July 2, 2012
Renee, would you feel better if the headline read “..while eating yogurt out of the container?”
k8edid
June 29, 2012
Driving in Florida is, indeed, an adventure. I once saw an elderly gentleman who could not figure out why his vehicle was not going forward despite the fact that he had the accelerator floored. The rest of us could see that the garbage truck he ran into was the problem…in addition, at least half the cars have no visible driver…
Snoring Dog Studio
June 29, 2012
Laurie- it’s one of the most agonizing decisions to have to make. It’s rarely the elderly parent’s idea to quit driving. It ends up falling to the children to make the decision. And it hurts. But we all sleep better knowing our 90 year old parents can’t get behind the wheel of a car.
Elly Lou
June 29, 2012
My mother is currently mixing wine and oxy with her night driving. God bless mass transit. And kittens. Because obviously.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
Just be thankful kittens don’t drive.
Meryl Baer
June 29, 2012
No one – of any age – should drive on I-95 if at all possible. Maybe we should limit drivers over a certain age to certain areas of Florida. I think older drivers should be tested – my mother-in-law doesn’t believe she can’t see the road signs. She is a danger to herself and others.
Carl D'Agostino
June 29, 2012
Miami 51% foreign born. From their insanity on the road I conclude with good reason none of them should have a license. It is a shame that some elderly are so stubborn they refuse to accept or admit their limitations with dignity. For example at 63 I know I cannot jump off buildings and fly through the sky like I used to.
speaker7
June 29, 2012
It will get better once we learn how to teleport as long as other species don’t get in our teleport tubes and we commingle our DNA.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
I’m becoming vaguely excited.
Go Jules Go
July 1, 2012
I’m already more than excited.
KM Huber
June 29, 2012
So glad to know that soaring with the oversoul will save us, finally. This has dominated my bucket list of concerns. Think I’ll take a celebratory soar.
Karen
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
Go for it, Karen!
Snoring Dog Studio
June 29, 2012
Last year we kids took my parents’ drIving licenses away, cancelled their auto insurance and got rid of their car. Frequently they still think they have a car in their garage. My mom is more aware of not having one than is my dad who is truly a massive road hazard. Now, however, my mom has it in her head that she’s going to get a Mini Cooper. She wants one because they’re cute and she thinks it would be easier to back it out of the garage and down their 40 foot driveway. And it’s so cute, no way could she get in an accident. If she could order one out of those cheesy mail order catalogues she would. They are absolutely never going to drive again.
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
All kidding aside, it’s a huge problem. I have a friend who called the DMV and “reported” her mom. There was hell to pay.
omawarisan
June 29, 2012
If we renumber I-95, will we all be safer?
Life in the Boomer Lane
June 29, 2012
Good one, Oma. Hopefully, it would take them awhile to catch on.
ryoko861
June 29, 2012
I don’t care if it costs a cazillion dollars, anyone over 65 should be tested! I’ve seen way too many senior citizens creating havoc on the road because they either can’t see, drive too slow, or change lanes without signalling. They think they’re in the 1940’s again and no one else but them is on the road. When I’m 65 I’d be more than happy to take a test. If I fail, then the transit system better in full swing in my area. My dad is 83. He no longer drives as of last year. He’s not happy about it, but we’re relieved he’s no danger to other motorists. The reflexes just aren’t what they used to be.
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
Well said! Yes, most of my friends have noted that even if their reflexes are still intact, they are experiencing diminished visibility at night. Aging has its consequences.
chlost
June 30, 2012
I think everyone should be regularly tested….at 25, 30, 40, I don’t care. People are terrible drivers at any age. You can’t tell me that a 30 year old who yacks on a cell phone and puts on her make up in the rearview mirror while driving is safer than a 65 year old simply by virtue of her age. Regular updated skills and knowledge testing might make all of us drive more safely.
And, you and I were thinking alike today. My post is also about “elderly” drivers, but on a different topic.
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
Good point. Between an aging population and one requiring communication at all times, we are creating more opportunity for disaster.
Rebecca Latson Photography
June 30, 2012
Hoo boy. Well, #1 is impossible to avoid – I live in a town with ALOT of old drivers. #2 is totally avoidable, so no problem there. #3….hmm. Aside from my 87-year old mother, I find myself either wanting to throttle that age group, or feeling totally empathetic toward them since I may reach that age someday.
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
I go through the same thing, then I realize that that is exactly where I am headed.
Chris White
July 1, 2012
I think the old should definitely remain on the road. Not like road-kill I hasten to add.
But I think that they should be OK to drive … provided they ONLY drive old cars. Nothing new. If they have a radio in their vehicle then it must BY LAW be tuned to stations that only old people listen to … non of this trendy stuff we hear so much about these days. Also (AGAIN BY LAW) any car driven by an old person must have TOILET FACILITIES. They must also display a sign which says GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDCHILDREN ON BOARD.
also (by law) ALL OLD PEOPLE must keep a copy of the details of their funeral plan in the dashboard locker.
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
Hilarious. They should also only be allowed to go to old fashioned strip malls and to independent hardware stores.
Chris White
July 1, 2012
And another thing … forget the test. ALL people must be made to watch LOGAN’S RUN every 3 months as part of an AM I OLD YET screening.
Alaina Mabaso
July 1, 2012
It’s truly hard to say who make the worst drivers: senior citizens, teenagers, or anyone who is driving while gabbing/texting on a cell phone.
But this blog post is sort of depressing to me because I wish people were better at telling it like it is for old folks without worrying about votes or their inheritance. I sure as hell would rather lose my inheritance than know that I let someone get injured or even killed because my parent(s) hit them with a car after I should have made sure the keys were taken away.
My family went through this a few year ago with my beloved granny, when she backed into a tree one too many times. She was unhappy about the loss of autonomy and threatened to find the keys and drive behind our backs before my grandfather (still ok on the road) sold her car. But we were firmly aware of the bigger picture: protecting the many kids who play outside on Granny’s street. So her grown kids didn’t feel bad about it.
I think my other grandfather is a borderline case now. In his late eighties, he has started accelerating too quickly, driving uncharacteristically fast, and slamming on the brakes at stop signs as if he doesn’t see them in time, when in fact they’re a quarter mile from his apartment and he passes them every day.
So I guess we can joke about old folks’ driving like we do about everything else, but the truth is that this problem really worries me. And I am not driving blithely around in my own car thinking that that will never be me. I don’t have a car because I can’t afford the gas, insurance and maintenance right now, so I take the train or the bus. There are tons of old folks on there, and good for them. They get a huge discount on their tickets in Philadelphia. If I have no problem eschewing a car because my finances don’t allow it, I don’t think I would balk at losing my keys because my reflexes were getting old and my senses were failing. It all seems like common sense to me. Maybe when I get older I will have my lawyer put something into the will that says if I try to cut my kids out of it for taking my keys away, I can’t do it…
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
Alaina, you have expressed so well what the issues are. Driving means autonomy and giving that up is huge. Some communities have seniors bus routes and that helps a bit. But the bottom line is, as you’ve sahid, protecting others.
Alaina Mabaso
July 2, 2012
And protecting your aged loved ones! They won’t come out so well either if they get into an accident.
Go Jules Go
July 1, 2012
“Directionally optional” and “…they are more than five times as likely to be unaware that they were the ones behind the wheel” made me howl! I can’t think of a better solution other than what Speaker7 already so thoughtfully provided.
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
Yes, Speaker7 is nothing, if not thoughtful
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
speaker7 is, indeed, the epitome of thoughtful.
Fragrant Liar
July 2, 2012
What are the stats on 90-y-o’s who are driving and DRINKING? I mean, I came here to learn something . . . 😉
Life in the boomer lane
July 2, 2012
Alcohol or Ensure?
V.V. Denman
July 3, 2012
Funny. Funny. Funny. 🙂
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 9, 2012
Thanks!
Nataly
July 11, 2012
Maybe in Fl 1-95 should have three lanes…older drivers, normal drivers and young drivers- trucks can use all the lanes ( which they do because when you are behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler you really don’t care)! Great post!
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 16, 2012
Thanks, Nataly. Great idea. the older driver lane can have large print signs and frequent rest stops.