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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »observation«
Bimbos, Dildos, and Ho-Hos
In an event even more shocking than the removal of a 9 inch dildo from the intestines of a 30-year-old man in Zhongshan, China, the Hostess Company, purveyors of food like substances since 1930, is shutting its doors. No longer will chubby fingers be able to pull apart such nutrient-deficient but oh-so-fun products as Sno Balls, Devil […]
If I’m Over 60, I Must Want More Children
November 17, 2012
More Magazine, in an eye-opening new survey of 1200 women age 60-95+, explored, among other areas, marriage, mommyhood, mates, and mistakes. While the overwhelming response of respondents was that life keeps getting better, and that, specifically, their happiest decade was after age 40 (81%), all that self-congratulatory drivel stops when the subject of parenting comes up. […]
Fiscal Cliff Diving
November 15, 2012
In an attempt to educate everyone about the impending “fiscal cliff,” this blogger has done some serious research, taking breaks only to consume half a large can of salted cashews. Q. What is the fiscal cliff? This is a good question, especially since the words “fiscal” and “cliff” are usually associated with events having extremely dire […]
A Short Hiatus From Blogging
November 10, 2012
Like Facebook, Twitter, and Donald Trump’s brain synapses, blogging imparts a belief that one’s thoughts are vital to the well-being of the planet. A vacation from blogging imparts an awareness that world events tend to continue with or without During my hiatus from blogging, a president got re-elected, after both parties spent the equivalent of […]
A Short Phone Conversation Between Mitt Romney and the IRS
September 26, 2012
This is the IRS, where our motto is “We will hold off your death, until you have paid your taxes.” Uh, hi. Hey, are you aware that I have been on hold for about two hours? I would ask you what your point was but it wouldn’t matter. How can I help you? Uh, yeah, […]
Cappadocia, Turkey: A Real Life Fantasy
September 24, 2012
Imagine a terrain formed millions of years ago, a vast lava plain, created by several volcanoes and their eruptions. Fast forward through the next couple million years, through eroding winds and rain. Then imagine that thousands of years ago, hunter gatherers discovered that the basalt that created this otherworldly terrain was soft enough to carve […]
Would You Give Up Your Sex Life for A Good Parking Spot?
September 22, 2012
My friend Susan insists that when she isn’t having sex and doesn’t have the prospect of sex looming on the horizon, she has a Parking Fairy. When she is having sex or has the prospect of having sex, her Parking Fairy disappears. I can attest to this phenomenon. Or rather, I do have to take […]
Becoming A Smart Ass, the Cottonelle Way
September 19, 2012
I never thought I’d be writing a post about toilet paper. On the other hand, I also never thought I would have written posts about things spewing out of my nose, zombie pustules from outer space, and placentas. But when my palm is being greased (in a manner of speaking), I suppose I’ll write about […]
Obamacare, and the Right to Order Extra Cheese
August 8, 2012
While most of the general population of the country has been occupied with the Mars landing, the Olympics, the longest presidential run in history, and learning to do the steps to the pasa doble, a disaster has been in the making. Papa Johns, the third largest pizza takeout and delivery company in the country, has been […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
November 19, 2012
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