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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »mishap«
My Life in Checkout Lines
November 6, 2010
I can tell it’s the beginning of the holiday season. It’s not because I have seemingly overnight developed an irrational need to gain five lbs and set off my IBS. It’s not because of the relentless Christmas decorations that magically appear in stores while the kids are still out trick or treating. It’s because of […]
Rallying to Restore Marital Sanity
November 2, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane and Now Husband’s friend Judy was coming with them to attend the Rally to Restore Sanity. She was driving from New Jersey to their house on Friday evening. The phone rang. LBL picked it up at that exact same second that NH came rushing into the room, yelling “There is something wrong with […]
I’ve Become A Cliche
October 20, 2010
I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning, minding my own business and looking like I do every morning: skimpy tee shirt with no bra (I am, shall we say, well-endowed and I should actually be sleeping in a bra), ratty pajama bottoms, electrified-looking hair. My Now Husband Dan had left to fondle his boat. […]
I've Become A Cliche
October 20, 2010
I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning, minding my own business and looking like I do every morning: skimpy tee shirt with no bra (I am, shall we say, well-endowed and I should actually be sleeping in a bra), ratty pajama bottoms, electrified-looking hair. My Now Husband Dan had left to fondle his boat. […]
Things My Mother Warned Me About
September 23, 2010
I found a dead squirrel in my driveway the other day. As soon as I saw it, I heard my mom’s voice, “Don’t pick it up. It is probably diseased and you will get sick and die if you touch it.” I told my friend Phyllis, who was visiting and was, at that moment, sitting […]
The Saga of the Little Pink Panties
September 22, 2010
My nail lady, Tammy, who is now approaching 50, has finally officially entered the Universe of Perpetually Creative Brain Cells. Several months ago, Tammy’s husband was cleaning their house and, in the guest bedroom, he came across a pair of lacy bikini panties under the bed. They were pink, with little red hearts on them. […]
10 Things I learned From My High School Friends
September 20, 2010
My high school buddies, Susan, Phyllis, and Judy, came to visit this past weekend. These are the ten things I learned from their visit: 10. Guests who arrive carrying their own two-litre bottles of Cherry Diet Coke may not be emotionally prepared to eat wholesome, organic food for the weekend 9. Anthony’s Pizza in Falls […]
A Trip to the Farmers Market
September 19, 2010
I have three high school friends (Susan, Judy, Phyllis) driving down from Philly to visit me this weekend. In honor of the occasion, I decided to make a trip to the local farmers market, to bask in the whole touchy-feeliness of all that fresh, organic produce and homemade baked goods. That way, my friends could avail […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
The Lady Gaga Guide to Airport Security
November 12, 2010
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Life in the Boomer Lane is about to leave for London. Again. Because her three kids all live at a distance (three different distances, to be precise), LBL now does a fair amount of traveling. And, because LBL has enough metal in her body to build a washer/dryer, Airport Security is always a blast (Whoops, wrong […]