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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »commentary«
My Life in Checkout Lines
November 6, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I can tell it’s the beginning of the holiday season. It’s not because I have seemingly overnight developed an irrational need to gain five lbs and set off my IBS. It’s not because of the relentless Christmas decorations that magically appear in stores while the kids are still out trick or treating. It’s because of […]
My grandfather smoked for 75 years. My grandchildren are doomed.
November 4, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Thanks to this week’s issue of Newsweek, I now know that “epigenetic changes in sperm are carried forward transgenerationally.” Don’t even bother to check your online dictionary. I’ll translate (I’m a full-service blogger): If your great-grandparents or parents or you or your partner participated in a potentially damaging lifestyle (Oh, let’s say like consuming the […]
Secret Handbook for Politicians Discovered
November 3, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
A secret “Politician’s Handbook” has been discovered in a cave not far from where the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered. If you don’t believe Life in the Boomer Lane, look it up. Here is an excerpt from p.359: 1. If something good happens and your party is in power, take full credit and appear on […]
Rallying to Restore Marital Sanity
November 2, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Life in the Boomer Lane and Now Husband’s friend Judy was coming with them to attend the Rally to Restore Sanity. She was driving from New Jersey to their house on Friday evening. The phone rang. LBL picked it up at that exact same second that NH came rushing into the room, yelling “There is something wrong with […]
Why I’ll be at The Rally to Restore Sanity
October 27, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I’m not a lifelong Liberal. I’ve always been fortunate/cursed to see both sides to any issue. Because of that, I often feel paralyzed about making a voting decision. And, unlike many people, I can’t get past my dislike of a politician and simply vote the party line. But I’ve been around long enough now to […]
Why I'll be at The Rally to Restore Sanity
October 27, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I’m not a lifelong Liberal. I’ve always been fortunate/cursed to see both sides to any issue. Because of that, I often feel paralyzed about making a voting decision. And, unlike many people, I can’t get past my dislike of a politician and simply vote the party line. But I’ve been around long enough now to […]
Aunt Gert and the Family Murder
October 26, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
If you want the same effect as illegal drugs without going into unfamiliar neighborhoods to find vendors, spending all that money, or doing anything that will land you in prison, Life in the Boomer Lane’s Aunt Gert is the go-to person. Her world has always been constructed almost entirely of fantasy and Nutella. You are guaranteed […]
This Parking Meter Needs A User Manual
October 25, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Two friends and I drove into Washington, DC (newly designated as the 2nd WORSE TRAFFIC CITY in the US) to do the “Walk to End Modern Day Slavery.” DC is the World Mecca for Walks/Runs/Demonstrations/Rallies/Political Motorcades/Tourism/General Mayhem on the Road. There were at least four events happening that day, including an Army 10 Miler. For […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
The Lady Gaga Guide to Airport Security
November 12, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
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Life in the Boomer Lane is about to leave for London. Again. Because her three kids all live at a distance (three different distances, to be precise), LBL now does a fair amount of traveling. And, because LBL has enough metal in her body to build a washer/dryer, Airport Security is always a blast (Whoops, wrong […]