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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«
When Mothers and Their Babies Both Wear Diapers
While Life in the Boomer Lane has been frittering away her time keeping track of international terrorism and the antics of several unnamed heads-of-state, she has failed to notice a growing trend that poses a distinct threat to all women worldwide: the exploding number of post-50 women who are choosing to give birth. AARP Magazine, […]
I’ll have Air Over Easy, With A Side of Light. Hold the Potatoes.
January 7, 2015
The number of diets out there is exceeded only by the number of calories being consumed and the number of pounds being gained by the average person. For that reason, the latest diet to hit the streets is a logical extension of all the other diets: Breatharianism. No need to count pesky calories, carbs, fat, […]
Sex, Lies, and Ensure: The Sexual Habits of the Over-55 Set
January 5, 2015
Anyone who has ever visited an assisted living facility or nursing home has probably come away with the impression that the #1 athletic pastime of residents consists of lining up at the dining hall doors, well before meal time is scheduled to begin. If so, you’d be wrong. Not only wrong, but seriously wrong. The […]
The Apps You Need Right Now
January 3, 2015
In an effort to better serve her non-paying clientele, Life in the Boomer Lane has made an exhaustive, as well as exhausting, survey of some of the 10 billion apps that are now available on smart phones, that enable people to live healthier, more stress-free lives. This research was done between the end of one […]
A Commitment to Ignore Good Advice in 2015
December 31, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane has reached an age that allows her to look back at all the great advice she has gotten over the decades and respond with flagrant disregard, or at least with a bit of tweaking. These include: Act your age. LBL has been struggling with this one for decades, especially during […]
Looking Back and Looking Forward
December 27, 2014
In order to celebrate the start of a new year, the January 2015 issue of National Geographic is chock-full of “firsts” throughout the history of the world. NatGeo starts with the Earliest Ideas. The very first was fire. Fire was great for about a million years. Now we only use it when we go camping […]
The Link Between Age Compatibility and Relationship Success
December 25, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane has written numerous brilliant, profound, and downright side-splitting posts. But no matter how many seriously valuable topics she attempts to cover, from cats who want to kill you to big butts, there are three topics that remain permanently on her Biggest Hits List. They are: 1. The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix: A […]
Bitch Planet
December 10, 2014
Vox Magazine had an interesting article about a new feminist comic book titled “Bitch Planet.” This comic has deep and meaningful ramifications for society’s often misguided and misogynistic culture. But, since Life in the Boomer Lane stopped caring about comics once she got too old for Betty and Veronica, she doesn’t care about this. On […]
The Secret to Perfect Hair
November 20, 2014
Unless you have spent your life living pre-4000 BC, before the mirror was invented, you may have noticed that you have hair growing out of your head. Life in the Boomer Lane has noticed this since she was a toddler and her mother tried to comb her demented hair. Even putting bracing her foot against LBL’s […]
Love, Marriage, and Other Bad Stuff
November 17, 2014
Since 1990, the divorce rate for Americans over the age of 50 has doubled, and more-than-doubled for those over the age of 65. Over half of all grey divorces are to people in their first marriages, who have been married at least twenty years. This can either be interpreted as an attempt to avoid […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
January 15, 2015
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