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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »humor«
Let’s Talk Boobs
July 11, 2012
Actually, let’s talk bras, even though they aren’t much fun to talk about. When we start wearing them, they are usually too big and they feel like alien beings have attached themselves to us. Our first heavy make out sessions can involve young men who have seemed up until that point perfectly normal, with all […]
Global Shvitzing
July 10, 2012
(A certain amount of the following information came from The Huffington Post article titled, “Burning Up.” All quotes from NOAA, and Ann Coulter are true. All other quotes have been created by the blogger’s brain synapses, over which she has little control.) A new report finds that the past 12 months have been the warmest […]
Menopause on Pause
July 9, 2012
Loyal reader and gifted fellow blogger Alaina Mabaso has alerted Life in the Boomer Lane to a phenomenon so shocking that LBL had a reason to spit out her organic vegetable slime concoction that she was drinking to atone for having eaten half of a half-gallon of butter pecan ice cream last night. According to The Week’s column […]
Home Sweet HOME
July 8, 2012
Medieval peasant homes were simple wooden huts, usually consisting of one room. All other rooms were technically known as “outside.” Slightly-better-off peasants lived in huts with two rooms. There were no panes of glass in the windows, no chimney, no chairs. Peasants slept on straw and they did not have pillows. Instead they rested their […]
Get the Old Off the Road!
June 29, 2012
Getting old is no laughing matter, which is why it is so much fun making jokes about old people. Take driving, for example. As long as one isn’t driving in the same town as an old person, one can get a real chuckle out of the story of 86-year-old Margaret Lazor who drove her station wagon […]
Where is Your Placenta Buried?
June 28, 2012
In a piece titled Vanishing Voices, the current issue of National Geographic presents five languages across the globe that are on the verge of becoming extinct. According to NatGeo, “one language dies every 14 days. By the next century nearly half of the roughly 14,000 languages spoken on earth will likely disappear…” The evolution of language […]
Really Important Stuff That Happened When I Was Gone
June 20, 2012
Because the sum total of the money I have made from blogging approximates that of the current Greek GNP, and because I like to engage in frivolous activities like paying the mortgage, I decided to focus on my real estate career for a while, instead of on my keyboard. Stepping back from blogging for a […]
How to Sell to Boomer Women
June 8, 2012
According to eMarketer, “Boomers spend more time and money online than any other demographic. It is estimated that 78.2% of this cohort, or nearly 60 million adults, is online. Even as their numbers decline, that penetration rate (their words, not the words of this writer) will remain high through 2015. And they control more than […]
Wife Swap: Things I Wish I Didn’t Know
May 22, 2012
Editor’s note: The act of blogging follows a consistent path. There is the coming up of ideas; the writing of ideas; the hiding under the table while one weeps; the drinking of coffee laced with rum; the self-loathing followed by self-congratulating and then more self-loathing; the watching of TV; the shaking of the fist at […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Old Ladies Like Cute Shoes, Too
July 12, 2012
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