The Mystery of the Female Orgasm Solved

Posted on August 3, 2016




The recent wave of political mayhem swirling around Donald Trump has served to distract Life in the Boomer Lane from thinking about anything else.  At the forefront of her thoughts has been a scary vision of Trump in the oval office, ignoring the pleas of his cabinet and advisors to respond to any number of horrific  global events, while he instead spends all of his time on Twitter, ranting against anyone on the planet (including crying babies) who he feels has insulted him in any way.

Thank goodness, an alert reader (who we shall call Joyce) has rescued LBL from her Trump-induced miasma by sending her a vital piece of info regarding female orgasms.  Thanks to an article in The Guardian, The Mystery of Female Orgasms Solved, we can now penetrate the veil of orgasm.

Scientists have long been puzzled by both the advent of Trump, as well as that of the female orgasm. Both seem to be tons of fun on occasion, and both serve to provide great conversation topics.  But neither seems to serve any actual useful purpose.

But scientists in the US have come up with an answer, if not about Trump, at least about the human orgasm. Human female orgasm, they say, might be a spin-off from our evolutionary past, when the hormonal surges that accompany it were crucial for reproduction. These scientists, from Yale University, “describe how they delved into the anatomy and behaviour of a host of placental mammals to uncover the evolutionary origin of female orgasm, based on the hormonal surges associated with it.”

The article then goes on to detail all of the opinions that a number of scientists have, opinions that allow them to use words like “clitoris” far more than any normal human being should. The conclusions, for those who like plain speak, is as follows: Orgasms probably used to facilitate egg production, back before humans came on the scene. They probably weren’t much fun (the orgasms, not the humans), but were there to aid in the ultimate goal of reproduction.

Somewhere along the line, humans got a hold of the orgasm and turned it into a fun thing to write books about. But, because the mechanics of the orgasm stayed in a pre-human location in the body, it meant that achieving one wasn’t quite as simple as all the XXX-rated movies would have one believe.

Where does this leave us?  Probably in the same place we were before the research. Those who can achieve, will continue to do so.  Those who can’t, will have to amuse themselves in other ways. Either way, we can safely say that thinking and talking about Trump will not allow anyone to reach a climax, except maybe for Katrina Pierson, Trump’s sokesperson. LBL has watched Pierson pretty closely, especially each time she says “MR Trump.” Scientists might want to look into that phenomenon.