The Difference Between Love and Lust

Posted on July 23, 2014


Researchers from the University of Chicago, taking a break from doing things like finding a cure for cancer or chronic chapped lips, decided to study the difference between love and lust. They found out incredible things, like where on your body your date looks at you could indicate whether he is feeling love or lust.

The study found that eye patterns concentrate on a stranger’s face if the viewer sees that person as a potential partner in romantic love, but the viewer gazes more at the other person’s body if he or she is feeling sexual desire. That automatic judgment can occur in as little as half a second, producing different gaze patterns.

This news, apparently, was startling only to the researchers, as women have known this ever since Eve admonished Adam to “look at the face, buddy. I might be naked, but if you stare at my snatch one more time, I’m going to throw this apple at your nuts.”

Previous research by one of the scientists who has nothing better to do has shown that different networks of brain regions are activated by love or by sexual desire. He discovered that the brain region containing lust also contains a desire for frozen prepared food, Rogaine, and whatever is sold most sex shops.  The brain region containing love also contains the desire to parent, to maintain a tidy home, and to find favorable mortgage interest rates.

As an alert, discerning reader who has chosen to read this post instead of making yourself knowledgeable about the scary goings on between Israel and Hamas, you may be wondering just how all of this research relates to anything that anyone could possibly use. Here, then, is your answer:

“By identifying eye patterns that are specific to love-related stimuli, the study may contribute to the development of a biomarker that differentiates feelings of romantic love versus sexual desire,” said one of the researchers.  “An eye-tracking paradigm may eventually offer a new avenue of diagnosis in clinicians’ daily practice or for routine clinical exams in psychiatry and/or couple therapy.”

There it is, then.  Had Eve had the benefit of all of this research, she could have then told Adam, “Your biomarker indicates a feeling of sexual desire, as opposed to romantic love on your part, when you glance in my direction. I might be naked, but If you stare at my snatch one more time, I’m going to throw this apple at your nuts.”

It makes all the difference in the world.

Posted in: humor, love, research, satire