
Children may grow up and leave. Husbands, jobs, finances may come and go. Residences, hair color, and bra size may change. Sometimes it seems that, for many of us, the only constant in our lives is the desire to lose weight.
What is it about weight that has so many women in turmoil? We blame the media for presenting us with an idealized version of what a woman should look like: artificially-inflated boobs perched atop a pin-thin frame. Yet, a casual stroll down virtually any street in the country (save LA) will tell us that real women have normal-sized breasts and considerably more meat on their bones than that portrayed in the media.
In spite of what we can see so clearly, we believe that the loss of five or ten or one hundred pounds will change our lives. While it’s clear that some of us should lose weight for our physical well-being, many of us spend years struggling to lose an amount of weight that doesn’t impact on our health. Our rules about what we should weigh are often determined more by a standard we have set for ourselves, than one recommended by physicians.
Rather than go into the deep-seated reasons we are this way, we simply accept this as a fact of life. We drink diet Cokes with our pepperoni pizza. We hit the gym and go out for lunch after. We eat one cookie, decide our diet is blown, and happily consume the entire bag. We eat to celebrate, to mourn, to pass the time, to connect with others.
The passage of years doesn’t help. As we age, most of us discover that the pounds arrive more quickly and depart more reluctantly. They are the obnoxious party guests who refuse to leave, in spite of our best efforts. The eating patterns we established when we were younger no longer work. The occasional slice of pizza seems to show up the next morning on the scale. One day of foll-hardy consumption takes many days to correct.
At some point, we get to come to terms with all this. We get to shift from food-as-enemy to food-as-friend. The best we can do with food is to see it in terms of healthy vs non-healthy, instead of fat vs non-fat. We can get off the scale for good.
*****
This post is an excerpt from Saving the Best for Last: Creating Our Lives After 50 by Joyce Kramer, Renee Fisher, and Jean Peelen. It is available on amazon.com.
Deborah Drucker
July 25, 2014
I am getting close to that stage you mentioned where I are trying to make peace with the idea that I am not going to be some ideal weight and that my body is not going to look like it did when I was much younger. And that much of my weight seems to have landed on my upper arms. No I have not made peace with that part yet. I have read that our metabolism decreases by 5 percent per decade. So it is bit of a losing battle in more ways than one.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
I’ve read the 5% quote. Mine feels more like 50%.
btg5885
July 25, 2014
Renee, as you note, women are hammered by ads, magazines, etc. about what ideal looks like. As a man, I would imagine the stress is enormous. In my male view, I appreciate a woman more for her natural body and look. I am less enthused by enhancements be they silicon aided or Botox related. I do think we all could (me included) be mindful of keeping a healthy weight and being active and eating smarter is part of that. BTG (the one without the six-pack abs)
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
Well said, BTG!
Sara's Musings
July 25, 2014
Well said . . . all of it. Now where did I put the dark chocolate and almonds (oh yeah, I ate it all already) . . . 😉
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
That’s the issue with all of it. I read all this, then I hit the ice cream.
summerstommy2
July 25, 2014
Good post and I can say it works the same for males, I have the same never ending struggle on a daily basis. Needless to say I fail more often than I win.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
I’m trying to think of a reason why failure is a successful thing to do.
dorannrule
July 25, 2014
How I love your note of optimism in the end. And how I wish I could see food for health and throw away the scale. Your message is hope though, and I thank you. The choc chip cookies in the kitchen are calling.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
Save some for me.
lifeofjanine
July 25, 2014
I don’t know if I’ll ever come to terms with it. I like to look my best, and with extra weight clothes will never look as good, and the extra weight on my face makes me look older. I suspect I’ll never be the same weight I was when I was 28, but I refuse to just accept it. This is a choice I am making for ME – and others make their own choices.
That said, I also refuse to stop eating what I like … somewhere there is a happy medium.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
There is a happy medium. But it’s so difficult to find it and then stay there.
Sunshinebright
July 25, 2014
Oh, where are those days when I could eat anything, and never see it on the scale the next day? Those were the “good old days” for sure. So, now I don’t keep potato chips (I can’t eat just one), or cookies (chocolate chip are the best) in my house. And I still can’t get the weight off. Yes, I lost 11 pounds, but it took me a year to do it!
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
Bravo to you! That is a huge achievement.
chickensconsigliere@gmail.com
July 26, 2014
And it changes with time, our perception. My kids have a wide spread, age-wise. The oldest loved the show Full House. I remember thinking that the character of Becky was so svelte and attractive. Then, a good 20 years later, my youngest is enamored of the repeats and lo and behold, Becky doesn’t seem all that thin as she did back in the day. I know Becky has changed. Apparently I’ve been groomed over the years. We all have.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
That’s a great way to out it. I’ve been looking at old ads lately. They were about nutritional supplements to help women gain weight so as to look better in swimsuits. Nothing was about weight loss.
Valentine Logar
July 27, 2014
I remember clearly the day I said, it is going to be like this just this forever and ever amen. That day was three years after I was shot three times and it was 6 months months after my seventh surgery to fix the problems. I was just learning to walk again in the new body that weighed nearly 100 lbs more than the old body thanks to paralysis, medications and host of other wonderful things. Doctors told me I would never walk, I do. Then told me I would never walk in high heels, I do and I named my high heel collection after that doctor. They told me I would would likely face many more surgeries, I did and a couple more rounds with paralysis.
My weight goes up and down. I eat healthy. I try to exercise. I will never be ‘classic’ body beautiful, I learned to deal with what I have.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
Valentine, that is such a terrible and, at the same time, heoric story. Standing and cheering for you.
An Ordinary Man (the novel)
July 27, 2014
if a body is only to be looked at, it better be flawless, but if it is to be enjoyed, then that is less important. do not confuse sexy with sexual.
Life in the Boomer Lane
July 28, 2014
Agreed!
benzeknees
September 11, 2014
Amen!