Life in the Boomer Lane attended a presentation yesterday evening, given by a candidate running for county board. She did this because Now Husband is out-of-town and Downton Abbey didn’t start until 9PM and so she would be home on time. She also believed there existed a slight possibility that she might have understood enough about local politics to fill more than a mushroom cap.
The presentation was held in the neighborhood. About 12 neighbors were gathered to listen to the candidate speak. The presentation was quite informative, so much so, that LBL went against her usual rule of not saying anything in public because there is a 100% probability that she would say the exact wrong thing.
First, she made a disparaging remark about a specific county committee, then found out that a member of the committee was sitting next to her.
Then she made a disparaging remark about the state of the local shopping center, then found out that everyone but her knew it was slated for demolition.
When she finally decided that it would be prudent to leave, before she had any other thoughts that needed to come out, she put on her boots and coat. The coat zipper would not work, no matter how many times she tried. This pissed her off because she had just purchased the coat and this was only the second time she had worn it. She exited the house with an unzipped coat, intending to return it to Macy’s and complain about shoddy workmanship.
Outside, she placed her hands into her pockets, only to discover that her leather gloves were missing. She considered turning around and going back to the house where the presentation was, but decided that if she did, she would probably walk in on a conversation in which everyone was talking about her, so she continued walking home with an unzipped coat and no gloves.
Shortly after arriving home, the phone rang. The call was from a woman who informed LBL that LBL had walked out with the woman’s black coat and that she would stop by shortly to exchange coats.
In a few minutes, the woman showed up with LBL’s brown coat. LBL quickly checked and to her delight, the zipper was working and there were a pair of gloves in the pocket. Now she wouldn’t have to make a special trip to Macy’s or ever go to a political presentation again.
LBL has learned a huge lesson from all of this: Local politics is way more complicated than people think.