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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »women«
Why I Don’t Collect Things
September 27, 2010
The members of my family were always avid collectors. My grandfather, in addition to collecting wives, used to bring discarded items home from abandoned properties that were undergoing renovation. He was a paperhanger, and he never saw an old item (or a young woman) he didn’t like. My grandmother (actually my step-grandmother and his second […]
Things My Mother Warned Me About
September 23, 2010
I found a dead squirrel in my driveway the other day. As soon as I saw it, I heard my mom’s voice, “Don’t pick it up. It is probably diseased and you will get sick and die if you touch it.” I told my friend Phyllis, who was visiting and was, at that moment, sitting […]
The Saga of the Little Pink Panties
September 22, 2010
My nail lady, Tammy, who is now approaching 50, has finally officially entered the Universe of Perpetually Creative Brain Cells. Several months ago, Tammy’s husband was cleaning their house and, in the guest bedroom, he came across a pair of lacy bikini panties under the bed. They were pink, with little red hearts on them. […]
10 Things I learned From My High School Friends
September 20, 2010
My high school buddies, Susan, Phyllis, and Judy, came to visit this past weekend. These are the ten things I learned from their visit: 10. Guests who arrive carrying their own two-litre bottles of Cherry Diet Coke may not be emotionally prepared to eat wholesome, organic food for the weekend 9. Anthony’s Pizza in Falls […]
Trading Spaces
September 14, 2010
My good friend Jean is in love with Prague (as in The Czech Republic). She wanted to go for an extended visit of one month and had a brilliant idea how to get free housing. She registered her home in Florida on a site called “I’ll Live In Your House and You Can Live in […]
Paving the Highway With My Life
September 9, 2010
When Life in the Boomer Lane wrote the post about Miracle the Cat (“Cats Flying off the Roof of My Car”), LBL was reminded that LBL has a long history of things in general flying off the roof of her car. For the five people who have already read LBL’s post about Miracle, you are probably now […]
CSI: Arlington, VA
August 5, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane sometimes wonders what Miracle the Cat does at night. LBL knows that she patrols the property and that she (LBL) will very, very occasionally be greeted in the morning by a dead baby mouse on her welcome mat (Now Husband husband shrieks each time that they must immediately get rid […]
Go to Craft Fairs or Become A Lesbian
August 4, 2010
Elisabeth Hasselbeck thinks a lot of older lesbians would have turned out straight if they could only land a man. The co-host of “The View” said older women who have led heterosexual lives are choosing same-sex partners because men their age are chasing younger women. “All the older men are going for younger women, leaving […]
Why I Want to Live in the Sundance Catalog
July 29, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane’s Sundance catalog arrived today. She is always so excited to see it, and it’s not because she wants to buy everything in it. It’s because she wants to live in the catalog. There are some really good reasons for this and even better reasons why this wouldn’t be such a […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Why I Don't Collect Things
September 27, 2010
7
The members of my family were always avid collectors. My grandfather, in addition to collecting wives, used to bring discarded items home from abandoned properties that were undergoing renovation. He was a paperhanger, and he never saw an old item (or a young woman) he didn’t like. My grandmother (actually my step-grandmother and his second […]