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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »Valentines Day«
When Roses (or Sanity) Just Won’t Cut It
For those of you who are anticipating a last-minute rush to the florist/supermarket/7-Eleven for roses or to the nearest CVS/Rite Aid/Walgreens for boxes of candy to give to your loved one, Baby Trump Jr has another suggestion. A simple visit to the online Trump Store can provide anything your or her heart may desire. As […]
A Valentine for POTUS
February 6, 2017
Dear POTUS, This year, I’m sending you a Valentine, not because I love you or respect you, but because I love my country. And you are the duly-elected symbol of that country. You may not know that I love my country, since I’m not in the pro-life movement, I don’t attend church, fear […]
Love and War. And Love.
February 10, 2016
There’s a iconic photo taken on August 14, 1945 by the legendary photographer Alfred Eisenstadt. It is the day World War II ended, and the photo is called “The Kiss.” A young sailor in Times Square (We assume he is strong, handsome, possessed of all the traits necessary to have single-handedly beaten the Germans […]
A Better Way to Celebrate Valentine’s Day
February 8, 2016
Valentine’s Day, like most holidays we celebrate, started with pagan people being slapped with strips of goat hide dipped in sacrificial blood. Because Match.com hadn’t been invented yet, young women, after being slapped, placed their names into a big urn, and bachelors would choose a name and would be paired with that woman. After […]
A Valentine for Those Who Have Been Dumped
February 11, 2015
Since the beginning of mankind, humans have wondered how to get back those who have dumped them. They have wondered this while they were being chased by mammoths, while they were slogging through snow during the Little Ice Age, and while they were in the final throws of the Black Death. They have also wondered […]
Life in the Boomer Lane Enters A Contest
February 11, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane suspects that many of you are quite busy right now, gathering up whipping cream, soft restraints, and dog-eared copies of Fifty Shades of Grey for your Valentine’s Day festivities. She does, however, ask you to set aside your own lives for a moment in order to enhance hers. The folks at Midlife […]
A Valentine for People who Read My Blog
February 9, 2014
Dear Readers, Life in the Boomer Lane spends a lot of time making fun of things in this world that make her laugh, make her crazy, make her angry, and have her believe we are all literally going to hell in a hand basket, and the hand basket is ratty and moldy and full of […]
A Valentine for Raggedy Andy
February 9, 2013
You were my best friend, my first true love. We were inseparable. In the increasingly potholed memory of my mind, I remember one of us or both of us overcome with grief that we weren’t seated near each other. The teacher relented. I am occasionally bothered that one memory has us then seated side-by-side at […]
How to Score A Husband by Valentine’s Day 2014
February 5, 2013
For those young single women out there who are contemplating celebrating yet another Valentine’s Day changing the kitty litter and searching for ex-boyfriends on Facebook, a new book by Suzanne Venker assures you that you will have a devoted husband at your side by the time the next chocolate-bloated Valentine’s Day rolls around. Venker says all you […]
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February 9, 2018
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