Subscribe:
RSS feed
Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »satire«
A man spreads his legs…
February 7, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
at an office party. He is seated in a chair and you are standing nearby, looking in his direction. He points to one knee and says “This is Thanksgiving.” He points to the other knee and says, “This is Christmas.” Then he asks, “Why not visit me between the holidays?” The above was part of […]
Increasing Your Intelligence Without Being A Threat to Trees
February 5, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
There’s been a lot of hot research going lately about just exactly what it is that makes people smart. That is, aside from basic genetic make up, unique life experiences, and finally figuring out how to do the self-checkout at the supermarket. Scientists are now looking at what we can do to increase brain activity. […]
Fashion Begins At Home
February 3, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Now Husband Dan will tell you (as will the mailman, random neighbors, Girl Scout cookie vendors, and UPS delivery people) that I am wont to change into my sleeping attire at any hour of the day, as long as I know I’m not leaving the house again. Sleep attire for me consists of an assortment […]
Rogue Rules
February 2, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
For well over a year, I’ve been writing a humor column for an online newspaper. The newspaper has rules it wants their writers to follow, and I’ve been pretty good at ignoring virtually all of them. Until recently, it didn’t seem to matter. I posted my articles, they got printed, and very occasionally someone might […]
Dr Zhivago was a Mere Innocent
February 1, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I checked weather.com last night and saw the following blaring headlines: “Impending storm will cover half of the country! Storm will break all records! 100 million people will be impacted by this violent, destructive storm!” This morning was no better: “Historic blizzard and ice storm underway at this exact moment in the Midwest!” I turned […]
YKAJMiB!RK1!
January 31, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
We all now live at the bottom of an unruly, festering and ever-growing mountain of passwords and pins. I, personally, have run through the names of my entire family, all past bra sizes, and the names of at least three of my ill-fated turtles in elementary school in an attempt to come up with a […]
What 5 Inches Really Means
January 28, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
In case any of you have been living behind LBL’s washer and dryer with an assortment of her missing socks and underwear, you might not know that DC just had a five inch snowfall on Wednesday. Traffic police in the area were immediately diverted from directing traffic to riding around in big official-looking trucks. This resulted […]
There she is, Miss America…
January 15, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
This evening, the Miss America Pageant is prepared to stomp dance on our faces once again, with its laminated toothy smiles and stiletto heels. Oh whoops, am I being too hard on this tattered piece of Americana? You bet. I grew up with Miss America, and I have watched her slide from pure goodness and […]
A Dialog With My 13 Year Old Self
January 11, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
So, 13, yesterday I was throwing out some stuff in the attic and I found the diary you kept 50 years ago. I’m a little bit appalled confused about some of the things in there. Listen 63, I’m not stupid. I saw you wanted to use the word “appalled.” And that diary had a lock […]
Subscribe to RSS Feed
Life in the Boomer Lane 
The Man’s Guide to Dating After 50
February 9, 2011 by Life in the Boomer Lane
29
Boomers, like many other people, feel the need to develop close, nurturing relationships with another human being, as well as to occasionally get a free meal at a nice restaurant. For this reason, Time reports that people over the age of 45 have stampeded in record numbers to online dating sites. Internet dating can lead […]