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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »sarcasm«
Don’t Fence Me In!
September 25, 2010
I live in an urban area. My house is close enough to its side neighbors to be sexually active with them, if houses were so inclined. I’ve already written about my vegetable garden that was accessible only by trekking across the neighbor’s property. My backyard is average-size, with a charming designed-by-me two-level flagstone patio and a […]
Things My Mother Warned Me About
September 23, 2010
I found a dead squirrel in my driveway the other day. As soon as I saw it, I heard my mom’s voice, “Don’t pick it up. It is probably diseased and you will get sick and die if you touch it.” I told my friend Phyllis, who was visiting and was, at that moment, sitting […]
The Saga of the Little Pink Panties
September 22, 2010
My nail lady, Tammy, who is now approaching 50, has finally officially entered the Universe of Perpetually Creative Brain Cells. Several months ago, Tammy’s husband was cleaning their house and, in the guest bedroom, he came across a pair of lacy bikini panties under the bed. They were pink, with little red hearts on them. […]
10 Things I learned From My High School Friends
September 20, 2010
My high school buddies, Susan, Phyllis, and Judy, came to visit this past weekend. These are the ten things I learned from their visit: 10. Guests who arrive carrying their own two-litre bottles of Cherry Diet Coke may not be emotionally prepared to eat wholesome, organic food for the weekend 9. Anthony’s Pizza in Falls […]
A Trip to the Farmers Market
September 19, 2010
I have three high school friends (Susan, Judy, Phyllis) driving down from Philly to visit me this weekend. In honor of the occasion, I decided to make a trip to the local farmers market, to bask in the whole touchy-feeliness of all that fresh, organic produce and homemade baked goods. That way, my friends could avail […]
Your Very Own Virtual Dating Assistant
September 15, 2010
This month’s Marie Claire magazine informed Life in the Boomer Lane that successful professional women are paying ghost writers to communicate for them on dating sites like Match.com. Women who do this “tend to work a lot and do nice things for themselves. They go to the spa. They pay people to clean their house and […]
Trading Spaces
September 14, 2010
My good friend Jean is in love with Prague (as in The Czech Republic). She wanted to go for an extended visit of one month and had a brilliant idea how to get free housing. She registered her home in Florida on a site called “I’ll Live In Your House and You Can Live in […]
Paving the Highway With My Life
September 9, 2010
When Life in the Boomer Lane wrote the post about Miracle the Cat (“Cats Flying off the Roof of My Car”), LBL was reminded that LBL has a long history of things in general flying off the roof of her car. For the five people who have already read LBL’s post about Miracle, you are probably now […]
It’s a small world after all. But not small enough.
September 8, 2010
Overheard en route from Denver to DC: He: a 22 year old Jamaican She: a 28 year old native of Washington State She: Where are you from? He: Jamaica. She: Oh my god, Jamaica! That’s fabulous! I love that! So, uh, what do you speak there? He: It’s called Creole. But we speak English. She: So, […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Don't Fence Me In!
September 25, 2010
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I live in an urban area. My house is close enough to its side neighbors to be sexually active with them, if houses were so inclined. I’ve already written about my vegetable garden that was accessible only by trekking across the neighbor’s property. My backyard is average-size, with a charming designed-by-me two-level flagstone patio and a […]