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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »sarcasm«
How Much Does A Woman Cost?
March 1, 2011
This past Sunday, Life in the Boomer Lane’s friend Roni and LBL were driving to Baltimore for the annual ACC Craft Show (“Our motto: We have amazing crafts. You can either buy one of them or make your mortgage payment this month.”) Roni was regaling LBL with the latest romp (in the salon, not the bedroom) she had with her […]
I’ll Have What She’s Having: Boomers and Cosmetic Surgery
February 28, 2011
Whether you are planning your next round of Botox or are satisfied with your face looking more and more like a road map of Pennsylvania, the statistics are undeniable: Boomers are having cosmetic surgery in record numbers. According to www. cosmeticsurgery.org, “Baby Boomers Keep Cosmetic Procedures on the Rise.” The American Society of Plastic Surgeons […]
Crib Shits
February 25, 2011
First, this week, www.livelaughloveliquor.com has bestowed on me the Stylish Blogger Award, for which I am very grateful. LLLL is a very, very funny lady, whose material is the Universe of Satire. And I wanted to pass along a blog I just started following: www.mylittlespacebook.wordpress.com. I was hooked when I read her page “I Am.” […]
Fat Pets and Fatter Wallets
February 23, 2011
Now Husband Dan decided to ruin my day by sending me an article from the March/April issue of Mother Jones magazine. This article distracted me from my alarm at learning on TV that there is a Fat Pet Epidemic. Half of all US cats and dogs are now considered obese. I immediately asked Miracle the […]
We have stuff. Like earrings with a lot of breasts.
February 15, 2011
In my quest to come up with more activities than one human being can possibly engage in without making a dime, I have started making cuff bracelets. Since I have already purchased my new spring wardrobe (The sleeping bra. Remember?), I am now purchasing metal cuffs, ribbons, glue, and vintage buttons and earrings for embellishment. I […]
I did. I didn’t. I do:Boomers and Remarriage
February 14, 2011
Statistics on US divorce rates vary wildly, from under 35% to over 125%, depending on which source you look at and how annoyed you are with your spouse at the moment. But, no matter how you slice it, Baby Boomers are getting divorced at a higher rate than their parents’ generation. One source quotes the […]
I Get Royalties and You Don’t
February 10, 2011
It’s that time of year, the annual arrival of the 1099 with the year’s royalties I have received for my novel. I’ll pause for you to take this in. MY NOVEL. As in, I WROTE A NOVEL. AND I GET ROYALTIES. So, you may wonder, how did this amazing and spectacular thing come about? When […]
The Man’s Guide to Dating After 50
February 9, 2011
Boomers, like many other people, feel the need to develop close, nurturing relationships with another human being, as well as to occasionally get a free meal at a nice restaurant. For this reason, Time reports that people over the age of 45 have stampeded in record numbers to online dating sites. Internet dating can lead […]
A man spreads his legs…
February 7, 2011
at an office party. He is seated in a chair and you are standing nearby, looking in his direction. He points to one knee and says “This is Thanksgiving.” He points to the other knee and says, “This is Christmas.” Then he asks, “Why not visit me between the holidays?” The above was part of […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
The Oldest Living Boomer
March 3, 2011
21
Old Boomer (but not Kathy) The Philadelphia Daily News (“Our motto: We aren’t the Inquirer and you’ve never heard of us but we are still here, just in case anyone is reading”) reported last November that Baby Boomer Number One is Happy and Healthy As She Nears 65. This might not have been hot news […]