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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »rant«
There she is, Miss America…
January 15, 2011
This evening, the Miss America Pageant is prepared to stomp dance on our faces once again, with its laminated toothy smiles and stiletto heels. Oh whoops, am I being too hard on this tattered piece of Americana? You bet. I grew up with Miss America, and I have watched her slide from pure goodness and […]
For me, The Day is The Day After.
December 25, 2010
It’s Christmas morning. Life in the Boomer Lane’s three children, their two spouses (No, two of her children don’t share a spouse. Her younger son’s girlfriend is with her family in Myrtle Beach, SC) and her grandson and two dogs are at her ex’s house. There, they, like every other person in the world except LBL, […]
My Altercation With My Pilates Instructor, two, three, four…
December 17, 2010
It snowed yesterday and the roads were really bad, so Life in the Boomer Lane called the gym this morning to ask if the Pilates class would still be held and was totally bummed that the class was in doubt. LBL wanted to hear that it was cancelled. Awhile later, LBL got a call to […]
I've Got Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Pill Bottle
December 13, 2010
A couple days ago, while going about the always fascinating business of my life, I was overcome with an astonishing sense of well-being. It was as though zen-infused Karo Syrup was oozing throughout my veins. I believed, as I walked along the aisle of Target that I had found the true meaning of life […]
I’ve Got Joy, Joy, Joy Down in My Pill Bottle
December 13, 2010
A couple days ago, while going about the always fascinating business of my life, I was overcome with an astonishing sense of well-being. It was as though zen-infused Karo Syrup was oozing throughout my veins. I believed, as I walked along the aisle of Target that I had found the true meaning of life […]
The Room You Never Want to Go Into
December 5, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane seriously hates beating dead horses. And she doesn’t know why anyone would want to do that anyway, but apparently there must have been a time in the past when people actually did beat dead horses, or the phrase never would have come into existence. Did they do it or fun on […]
Please don't take my crappy cell phone away from me!
November 19, 2010
My technological prowess stops somewhere between the invention of the wheel and that of the cotton gin. Everything else, I put under one of two categories: It’s magic and I like it. It’s a curse on my existence and I want it to go away. My enthusiasm for changing anything I have is comparable to […]
Please don’t take my crappy cell phone away from me!
November 19, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane’s technological prowess stops somewhere between the invention of the wheel and that of the cotton gin. Everything else, LBL puts under one of two categories: It’s magic and she likes it. It’s a curse on her existence and she wants it to go away. LBL’s enthusiasm for changing anything she has is […]
The Lady Gaga Guide to Airport Security
November 12, 2010
Life in the Boomer Lane is about to leave for London. Again. Because her three kids all live at a distance (three different distances, to be precise), LBL now does a fair amount of traveling. And, because LBL has enough metal in her body to build a washer/dryer, Airport Security is always a blast (Whoops, wrong […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Rogue Rules
February 2, 2011
20
For well over a year, I’ve been writing a humor column for an online newspaper. The newspaper has rules it wants their writers to follow, and I’ve been pretty good at ignoring virtually all of them. Until recently, it didn’t seem to matter. I posted my articles, they got printed, and very occasionally someone might […]