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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »baby boomer«
I’ll Have Two Elf Ears and a Side of Bacon
April 19, 2011
Thanks to AARP, I have been alerted to a new trend in man’s ongoing quest for perfection: elf ears. AARP states that “Body modification artists cut the tops of young people’s ears and sew them back together in a pointed shape.” The segment is titled, “Ah, Youth! Sometimes we don’t miss it.” I don’t […]
Ouija Board: A Do-It-Yourself Seance
April 11, 2011
Before reading this post, you need to set aside all judgments you have about psychics, paranormal activity, spirits, and Langhorne, PA. Keep an open mind, as we take a trip into The Land of That Which Cannot Be Explained But Neither Can Anything Else. Now Husband Dan and I spent the weekend visiting my […]
The Monetization of Hopscotch
April 1, 2011
Seriously. Life in the Boomer Lane has never, even in a drug-induced Happyland stupor while seated in Dr Gerald’s dental chair, ever thought about blogging about Hopscotch. Come on now. Hopscotch? Is there a more basic children’s game? Yes, there is. That one where you hide something in your hand and shove both fists in front […]
Lost in Space
March 30, 2011
Actual items LBL has lost, which are now orbiting the earth According to Newsweek, NASA scientists want to build a cheap, earthbound laser that could zap away the “space junk” orbiting the earth. The zapper wouldn’t make the items disappear. Rather it would simply push the debris further out into space, so that incoming spacecraft […]
That’s not my purse. It’s my kidney.
March 28, 2011
In an attempt to add body snatching to the list of endangered job descriptions, scientists are perfecting ways to grow organs (the kind usually found inside the body) in a lab. These “bioartificial” organs are identical to the ones produced when your father grabbed his crotch one day and whispered sweet nothings into your mother’s […]
Ask Me About My Colonoscopy
March 19, 2011
When burying people up to their necks in sand and releasing ants to crawl all over their heads became passe, someone invented the colonoscopy. Colonoscopies are especially important for people over the age of 50 because it provides them with the need for something that no one ever told them about and which can’t be spelled anyway. […]
Oh, Baby. Boomer.
March 10, 2011
E-Science News has come out with an article detailing a 65 year-long study on Boomers by the Medical Research Council of Britain. The title of the article alone, “Baby Boomer Study Shows Importance of Childhood,” is vital to understanding how they become who they become. Mainly this involves the fact that, after years of research, scientists […]
The Oldest Living Boomer
March 3, 2011
Old Boomer (but not Kathy) The Philadelphia Daily News (“Our motto: We aren’t the Inquirer and you’ve never heard of us but we are still here, just in case anyone is reading”) reported last November that Baby Boomer Number One is Happy and Healthy As She Nears 65. This might not have been hot news […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
How to Live Forever
May 4, 2011
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Newsweek has an article called “How to Live Forever.” In spite of that intriguing title, the article isn’t about living with your children or in the nursing home until the universe is finished being the universe and moves on to being something else. If everyone really could live forever, it would bring up other issues. Like […]