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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«
The Case of the Lost Hip
Life in the Boomer Lane has been well aware for some time that one of the great mysteries plaguing women-of-a-certain-age is the loss of body parts. Back in 2011, she posted a piece, The Missing Body Parts of Women Over 50, dealing with this issue. In the five years that have passed, she, herself, has lost two […]
The Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix Expanded
June 25, 2016
Two significant things happened yesterday. The first was that Life in the Boomer Lane learned that Britain had voted to leave the European Union. The second was that she realized that the post she published about Dana McClendon’s Universal Hot/Crazy Matrix: A Man’s Guide to Women back in 2014 had permanently remained her #1 post, eclipsing […]
Coming in Third
June 13, 2016
It’s pretty much a known fact that the diminutive size of First Newborns is, like Napoleon and smallpox, in inverse proportion to the upheaval they cause in people’s lives. While said newborns occupy their copious leisure time with sleeping, eating, and pooping, newly-minted parents create any number of mental crises over these seemingly innocent characteristics […]
The Panties, the Plastic, and the Pico de Gallo
May 25, 2016
For the last couple days, Life in the Boomer Lane’s carton-infested attic has been occupied not with a contractor, but with a house guest. The aforementioned houseguest is actually a dear friend, who we shall call Joyce, because that is her name. Joyce lives in Florida but makes a twice-yearly drive up to Baltimore, where […]
When the Roof Caves In
May 19, 2016
Lately, Life in the Boomer Lane has had a recurrent nightmare that the incessant rain in the area causing her roof to start leaking. This feared event materialized on Tuesday. LBL went up into the attic closet to get a canvas for her oil painting class. The attic walls were dripping, and wrapping paper and […]
Is the TSA Really Keeping You Safe?
May 18, 2016
Unless you have been living in Life in the Boomer Lane’s old, non-functioning washing machine that she stores in the basement because the stairs are too tight to be able to remove it, you are probably aware that TSA lines at airports have exceeded lines to get into a free Beyoncé concert. This opening […]
Living Your Life in 8 Second Intervals
May 16, 2016
Back in 2014, when Life in the Boomer Lane wrote her last post on aging and height loss, the world was a much more innocent place, chiefly because the presidential primaries had not yet begun and because LBL was still over 5′ tall. In the interim, both American politics and LBL’s height have dipped to […]
Getting A Head
May 2, 2016
There are few news items now that can pierce the mind-numbing miasma emanating from the run for the presidential nomination. In spite of this, Life in the Boomer Lane found her brain cells standing (albeit gingerly) at attention (albeit with as much attention as one with ADD can muster) to see the following: Italian […]
Rethinking The Story of You
April 25, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane has always been skeptical of the conclusions people reach when they go through past life regression. When one considers that, throughout history, the overwhelming majority of people consisted of the unwashed masses, it is astonishing that so many folks discover they were Marie Antoinette or a Pharaoh in a past […]
Zombies vs Cicadas: Rising From the Earth, Having Sex, and Dying
April 18, 2016
If you live in the northeastern part of the United States, next month, against all odds, you will not be thinking about Donald Trump, terrorism, or the possibility of needing a stronger antiperspirant. Every single brain cell you still posses will be consumed with sheer terror at what is happening on your very doorstep. […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
June 28, 2016
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