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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«
The New Dishwasher: Part 2
Having just barely survived a love and chaos-filled Thanksgiving, Life in the Boomer Lane has been experiencing the same kind of whiplash that Mitt Romney must be feeling right now. But, while Mitt is being forced to remain in the political purgatory mode, LBL can move on to other important issues in her life and […]
Pre-Thanksgiving: Joyful Mayhem Involving Large Appliances
November 23, 2016
Life in the Boomer Lane has just hosted her children and grandchildren in a pre-Thanksgiving research project to test the theory that a house can hold 5.5 times the number of people it was designed to hold, as long as they are all related to each other. Six adults and five children occupied a space normally […]
Time is Not on Your Side
November 14, 2016
Contrary to claims touted by most products in the vitamin store, it turns out that human beings really do have a maximum lifespan. Researcher Jan Vijg of Einstein College of Medicine in New York has presented compelling proof for this Monday morning downer. For those of you older boomers who just had to mentally […]
The Singles Scene, 200000 BC
October 24, 2016
Modern humans believe they created the singles scene. But, as one of our esteemed presidential candidates would say, “Wrong.” The existence of the human papillomavirus, also known as HPV, is proof positive that the unmated were mixing it up well before the advent of singles bars and Match.com. Thanks to Vox, we now know […]
Bad Hombres
October 20, 2016
Watching the debate last night, Life in the Boomer Lane was stunned to hear Donald Trump say what sounded suspiciously like “bad hombres,” in reference to his assertion that The Wall will be all that stands between us and annihilation by the unwashed masses that are clamoring to overrun our southern border, in order to trade […]
The Answer to Age-Related Memory Loss
October 13, 2016
This entire presidential election season aside, most humans dislike forgetting things. They especially dislike forgetting things when those things consist of cell phones, credit cards, medical appointments, and the locations of our cars and grandchildren. Forgetting can cause confusion and subsequent embarrassment. A close friend of Life in the Boomer Lane, already owning a long […]
Furniture Shopping With Donald
October 8, 2016
Donald, I’m so glad you suggested we go furniture shopping. I need a sectional real bad. It’s making me crazy. I think about sectionals all the time. My husband thinks I’m nuts. You came to the right person. I know furniture. Nobody knows furniture like I do. It’s furniture. And I know it. Most […]
A Pre-Holiday Gift to Readers
October 3, 2016
It’s never too early to start gearing up for the holidays, especially nowadays when Halloween blurs into Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving blurs into Christmas and all of that blurs into the end of life when we realize that we have forgotten to put out the trash or hide embarrassing photos we have stashed away somewhere. Life […]
A Friend’s Final Request
September 29, 2016
A friend of Life in the Boomer Lane brought up a very serious issue at their breakfast out, the other day. For those of you who are now completely distracted by the word “breakfast,” and want all the details, LBL will say that she had scrambled eggs (soft scrambled) and coffee. Nothing more. That […]
What’s Going on in Your Dog’s Brain?
September 9, 2016
Contrary to popular opinion, and with all due respect to Gary Larson (creator of the iconic cartoon, in which whatever we say is heard as blah-blah-blah by our dogs), dogs actually do understand us. According to the August 31 print issue of the Washington Post (Note to Readers: If you don’t know what a […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
November 29, 2016
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