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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »politicians«
The Unrecorded Interview Between Matt Lauer and Sarah Palin
ML: Ms Palin, you and other tea partiers have been quite vocal in your opposition to the Presidents’s Affordable care Act. Can you please give us a run through of the health care plan that you would propose? SP: I’m glad you asked me that, Matt. Let’s be clear about one thing from the get-go. […]
School for Scandal
July 29, 2013
Instructor: I’d like everybody’s attention, please. Welcome to “How to Respect Women,” a workshop tailored specifically for politicians. We will undo a lifetime of womanizing in two weeks. Are we ready? Eliot Spitzer: You have nice boobs, Teacher. Instructor: Mr Spitzer, we will refrain from references to female anatomy in this class. Is that understood? […]
A Short Conversation Between the Weiners
July 24, 2013
Darling, I have a text here from a “Carlos Danger.” Do we know anyone named Carlos Danger? Ah, Sweets, that is actually me. I meant to send that text to my new assistant, the twenty-year-old who is completing her doctorate in “The Value of Long Hours of Public Service.” But Love, why are you sending […]
Alienation
November 28, 2012
World events have been happening so quickly in the past week that, midway through my consumption of a sweet potato and marshmallow casserole, I seriously considered blowing off the Post-Thanksgiving-Held-on-Actual-Thanksgiving Midnight Madness at the local Walmart in order to track events as they were unfolding. We shall begin with a discovery beneath the […]
A Short Phone Conversation Between Mitt Romney and the IRS
September 26, 2012
This is the IRS, where our motto is “We will hold off your death, until you have paid your taxes.” Uh, hi. Hey, are you aware that I have been on hold for about two hours? I would ask you what your point was but it wouldn’t matter. How can I help you? Uh, yeah, […]
My Uterus, Myself
August 26, 2012
Todd Akin, when he isn’t advocating for an audit of the Federal Reserve System, has become a spokesperson for a return to medieval notions of women and fertility. It’s time to look at the belief system from which he obtains his knowledge about women’s bodies. And what better way to do this than to go […]
Hillary Clinton: Face Off
May 10, 2012
Hillary Clinton, in an event generating even more negative feedback than her 1993 national health care debacle, has appeared in public with minimal makeup, glasses, and au natural hair. The shocking occurrence took place during an official event in Bangladesh, part of her current diplomatic tour throughout Asia. In an act that brazenly flaunted common […]
Secret Handbook for Politicians Discovered
November 3, 2010
A secret “Politician’s Handbook” has been discovered in a cave not far from where the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered. If you don’t believe Life in the Boomer Lane, look it up. Here is an excerpt from p.359: 1. If something good happens and your party is in power, take full credit and appear on […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
November 12, 2013
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