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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »boomer humor«
This Parking Meter Needs A User Manual
October 25, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
Two friends and I drove into Washington, DC (newly designated as the 2nd WORSE TRAFFIC CITY in the US) to do the “Walk to End Modern Day Slavery.” DC is the World Mecca for Walks/Runs/Demonstrations/Rallies/Political Motorcades/Tourism/General Mayhem on the Road. There were at least four events happening that day, including an Army 10 Miler. For […]
Six-Word Memoirs
October 21, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
The current issue of AARP Magazine has a short piece titled “Six-Word Memoirs.” Many people have submitted theirs online. My favorite was “Located my childhood sweetheart. Shouldn’t have.” So, here are some six word memoirs of my life: A mistake, telling Steve Jacobs “No.” Can I do eighth grade again? Three children. Two husbands. No […]
I've Become A Cliche
October 20, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning, minding my own business and looking like I do every morning: skimpy tee shirt with no bra (I am, shall we say, well-endowed and I should actually be sleeping in a bra), ratty pajama bottoms, electrified-looking hair. My Now Husband Dan had left to fondle his boat. […]
I’ve Become A Cliche
October 20, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning, minding my own business and looking like I do every morning: skimpy tee shirt with no bra (I am, shall we say, well-endowed and I should actually be sleeping in a bra), ratty pajama bottoms, electrified-looking hair. My Now Husband Dan had left to fondle his boat. […]
Exiled to Nicheville
October 18, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I’m a bit concerned about my children (three) and my grandchildren (one arrived 16 months ago, the others mere thoughts as of this post). I am aware that, depending on which standard is used, my children are either Gen Xers or Gen Yers. Or both. This in itself is a problem. If my children are Gen […]
A Haunted House. And A Ghost Wearing Combat Boots.
October 14, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
In honor of Halloween, I’ll now tell the ABSOLUTELY TRUE STORY of how I lived in a HAUNTED HOUSE. Don’t worry. This ghost/spirit/whatever was friendly and wasn’t accompanied by the usual creepy music. But first, have you ever wondered why, in scary movies, the hero/heroine always opens the exact door that he/she knows contains the […]
Naked People All Over My House
October 13, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
A friend came over the other day and asked me why I had naked people all over my house. Because I am unusually observant about my surroundings, I answered “Huh?” and the friend said, “Look around. You have a naked people in every room.” I checked the bedroom and the bathroom, but my husband Dan […]
An Uncommon Cold
October 12, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
I have a cold/virus/bacterial infection/whatever. No biggie. It’s not like I’m sick a lot. The last illness was about five lbs ago. I went to the doctor after whatever I had was building up for about five days. This consisted of: Be fine during the day and throughout the night. Wake up feeling like a […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Aunt Gert and the Family Murder
October 26, 2010 by Life in the Boomer Lane
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If you want the same effect as illegal drugs without going into unfamiliar neighborhoods to find vendors, spending all that money, or doing anything that will land you in prison, Life in the Boomer Lane’s Aunt Gert is the go-to person. Her world has always been constructed almost entirely of fantasy and Nutella. You are guaranteed […]