Got A Question For Ya, J

Many of us occasionally muse about which celeb we would like to have dinner with. Life in the Boomer Lane used to think a lot about having a pajama party with Oprah. Oprah would certainly wear cute pjs, and she does love snacks. She would also have a lot of inside dope about other celebs.

Eric Trump, The Man Who Has Done So Little With An Abundance of Opportunity, was asked on the conservative Candace Owens Show on the Daily Wire, which person (living or dead) he would choose to share a meal with. Eric first clarified that anyone who he (Eric) would choose to give his valuable time to would be required to make a sizeable contribution to Dad’s ongoing fight to have the election overturned, have all members of the January 6 Committee drawn and quartered, and move Mar-a-Lago back a bit from the water so it could be totally protected from fake climate change.

Then he got down to business. “I choose Jesus,” he said. When that statement was left hanging in the air, Owens decided she needed more. “What would you ask him?” Owens asked. To his credit, Eric didn’t hesitate. He was totally prepared. “I think about this all the time,” Wonder Boy #2 responded. LBL now provides a direct quote, so that Loyal Readers don’t react by thinking “Oh, that LBL is always making up shit. It’s funny occasionally, but it’s totally fake.” Here is the exact, verifiable quote, as authenticated by any number of election officials around the country:

“Did you envision this happening to the United States of America? Did you ever envision a person as incompetent as Joe Biden running the United States of America? How in the world did this happen?” Really? Out of all the miraculous stories the Bible told about Jesus, he wants to talk politics? OK, maybe there’s more Eric wants to ask him? Of course, Eric doubled down on this, “Honestly, I might ask him if this is actually a ploy to show people the differences between Republican leadership and Democratic leadership. Sometimes I think about that.”

This is a lot to pack in, considering that he was speaking to the son-of-God, raising-other-random-people-from-the-dead, restoring-sight-to-the-blind, casting-out-demons, healing-the-sick, walking-on-water guy. Others, even the most miracle-oblivious of us, might have asked him how they might be able to do the water-into-wine thing at home.

But not Eric. To call him a one-trick pony is to do a grave disservice to all hardworking one-trick ponies. One wonders what Eric would ask lesser celebs like Moses, Mohammad, Lincoln, Ghandi, the Pope, the Dalai Lama, etc. You got it: the very same questions. Of course, he might phrase it differently for each:

“Moses, after you walked across the desert and stuff, did you envision (continue with the above quote).”

“Mohammad, whoever you are except your name sounds very suspicious, did you envision (continue with the above quote).”

“Pope, while you are doing all that religious stuff, did you envision (continue with the above quote)”

Surely, Eric left out the most important questions, like “If the illegal, fake courts are going to find my father guilty of anything at all, how can we make that not happen?” and “How can we have another election right now and elect Dad and make all this go away?”

I, for one, would be really interested to hear what Jesus would have to say about that. But I’m thinking that his actual reaction would be, “Pass the wine, please.”