Your Questions Answered

Posted on October 27, 2021


It’s tough to write about nipples, when the world continues to careen toward its end. Life in the Boomer Lane had fully intended to devote herself to just that (nipple talk), but the Forces of Darkness kept obscuring her vision. Not that nipples aren’t important, mind you. LBL will simply put nipples aside for the moment, and save them for better days ahead. On the other hand, firmly believing that better days may not be ahead, her thoughts on nipples might just have to get tossed by the wayside, along with her old ballet shoes and countless thoughts she has crammed into her cranium.

Instead, she will answer the burning questions that many of you are having right now, questions that keep you up at night and even watching 90 Day Fiancé won’t stop you from thinking about. Here, then, are the questions:

Why do so many people believe powerless immigrants are ruining their lives, while ignoring the billionaires who are doing just that?

This one is easy. Immigrants are usually not fun to look at. They have worried looks on their faces because of all the trauma they have been through. They often have accents, which can be really annoying to those of us who have learned to speak English. And they come here either to lay around and do nothing and just get welfare or to gobble up all of our jobs.

Billionaires, on the other hand, are bright and shiny-looking. They don’t want welfare or to take our jobs. They simply want to look good, mind their own business and keep making more billions, which has nothing to do with us. .

Why does Q Anon seem to now be hiring writers of satire to come up with ever more fantastical explanations for anything at all? And why do people believe that stuff?

Q Anon is a veritable font of information that sounds totally reasonable when recorded and listened to backwards. Their beliefs include: Trump is still the President. JFK Jr is coming out of hiding to be his VP. Biden is a hologram. The pizzerias fronting Democratic Party-run child pornography and trafficking operations have a swell two-for-one deal for seniors every Thursday. The January 6 assault on the Capitol was, in reality, 1. a bunch of tourists minding their own business 2. comprised entirely of Antifa and 3. merely the first wave of a giant lizard takeover of the US.

As to why people believe it is anyone’s guess. Although LBL does think that life in most of the small towns in the US can get pretty boring. Q Anon certainly stirs things up. LBL lived in a really tiny town for awhile. It was so small that they had one restaurant in the only hotel. There were only a handful of stores. They had to close the only bowling alley because there weren’t enough people to go there. Q Anon might have sounded really good to her back then.

Why is the GOP following the Jim-Jones-Drink-This-Kool Aid form of politics?

Fear is what runs the world now. Things have simply gotten too big, too fast, too overwhelming. What’s a poor slob to do, when control is a word that now only applies to one’s bladder or bowels and not to any other part of life? The most expedient answer is to allow a God-like Being to set all the rules, and, on a local level, a mini-version of that God-like Being. Any number of countries are now controlled by such Supreme Beings.

The GOP has noticed. They must concede that Trump is the absolute best at playing God. The best anyone else can hope for then, is to be a fairly good copy of that God, minus the hair and the fractured English.

Where did all that bruhaha come from about people being terrified of anything that smells like the government getting into their business? Even Covid shots, for goodness sake? Or masks?

This one is easy. GOP doesn’t want to spend money. The only way to do that is to not provide services to American citizens. Social services, infrastructure expenses, education, etc etc etc are costly. Worse, somebody has to pay for all that, and the somebodies paying are the people with money. This is bad and wrong on many levels, as well as being called a sin in the bible.

An easy way out is to tell people that those services are really nothing more than the government sticking its nose into everyone’s business. The government is, along with immigrants, the worst thing that can happen to us. We want to run our own lives, thank you. We want to educate our children the way we want, die without medical insurance if we want, ride motorcycles without helmets, and blow smoke in people’s faces in restaurants. Hell, if we had the equipment, we would want to dig our own roads to travel on. That’s the American way, along with slavery and killing Indians.

It was a short hop from believing that the government was annoying and intrusive to believing that anything the government said or did was simply to ruin our lives or make us brain dead for a Bill Gates takeover of the planet. We seamlessly went from believing that children’s lives would be saved by getting polio shots to a belief that children’s lives would be ruined by wearing masks. It was sort of like the hop from smoking being all sophisticated to smoking being equivalent to death. Humans are always evolving, right?

When will the world actually end?

While it’s tough for LBL to make such a prediction, she believes that when all the billionaires suddenly start suiting up and heading into outer space, our days are numbered.

Posted in: politics