Like any number of card-carrying American hominids, Life in the Boomer Lane has been emotionally impacted by the double whammy of the Trump-Covid Convergence Phenomenon. The fact that two life-altering forces could occur at the same time seemed inexplicable. This would be akin to having a severe case of intestinal distress, while lying in bed after having thrown one’s back out.
LBL has tried to think of a reason why this (the Trump-Covid Convergence Phenomenon, not the back/intestinal issues) would have occurred. The only sane, rational explanation would seem to be extraterrestrial forces. For that reason, LBL has described her existence for the past nine months as living on an alien planet.
The only thing that perplexed her was that whoever was screwing around with our planet’s Sanity Meter had not yet revealed themselves. And worse, there were no opposing Forces of Good to alter the dire situation that had been created. Then, on the Saturday morning following the Day People Voted (formerly known as Election Day), all was revealed.
For some inexplicable reason, both LBL and Now Husband awoke at 5:30 AM, at least 30 minutes earlier than they usually awoke. Now Husband looked out the window and announced, “The planes have started,” the price they paid for living within spitting distance of National Airport in DC. Seconds later, he added “But that’s not a plane.”
What they thought was a plane was making no noise. It was also making hairpin turns that planes can’t make. It wasn’t shaped like a plane. It had blinking lights all around it. A second object appeared that looked exactly like the first. At some point, both objects stopped in mid-air and stayed there. For about 20 minutes, LBL and Now Husband stood at the window, binoculars in hand. The objects seemed to join at some point. Then they were gone, just as quickly as they had appeared.
LBL was sure this was some kind of message from whoever was attempting to override whatever forces were screwing around with our Sanity Meter. LBL waited. Sure enough, at 11 AM that morning, Biden was finally declared the winner of the election. While sanity had not been totally restored, it was clear that the Meter was at least starting to inch in another direction.
That evening, several friends gathered (masked, socially distanced) to toast the Prayed For and Dreamed About Epic Win (otherwise known as the Worst Theft of the Very Foundations of American Democracy that Ever Occurred in the History of the World, in other circles). As they toasted, as if on cue, one of the objects appeared in the sky. Now, all gathered could observe it in all its glory. Everyone stood transfixed, watching it glide silently across the sky, then stop for awhile, lights pulsing. To LBL, the lights seemed to be spelling out a big “You’re Welcome”
She has only the following words for Joe Biden: “Be grateful, Joe. But know that from now on, you are on your own. Make them proud. “
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Andrew Reynolds
November 15, 2020
YAY! Finally.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 29, 2020
I’d get excited, but I knew that our illustrious soon-to-be-but-not-soon-enough-former-president would spend all of his time trying to turn everything into shit before he hands the country over. He must be working overtme on that one.
Peter's pondering
November 15, 2020
Perhaps we could offer #45 as a gift for them to probe?
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 29, 2020
That would be the answer to my dreams.
patread517
November 15, 2020
I offer another theory for the interference in our Sanity Meter: the thought-provoking, gripping, and terrifying new documentary “The Social Dilemma” on Netflix. This movie explains what is going on that there could actually currently be an increase in the number of “flat-earthers”, and why nationalist movements are threatening more democracies across the globe. I’ll give you a hint–algorithms in social media (think Google, FaceBook) that generate and shape the content that feeds upon itself. Must see.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 29, 2020
I’ve seen it. It’s creeypy, all right. Why to all road signs seem to point to the end of the world?
Victoria C.
November 16, 2020
Thank you for some fun. We as a species are so very much in need of it.
I think the wisest truth I’ve yet heard about the whole mess we’re in came from Dolly Parton this week when she said, “Some people just love to hate.” And there you have it. I firmly believe in the cosmic law of Karma, which means basically: “What you give is what you get,” and this is am immutable law. Jesus said it more gently, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” and the unrecorded rest of that sentence is “because they will.” Nobody anywhere anytime can outrun their own Karma, and Karma is a meticulous bookkeeper.
I’m watching with interest as the Beast of the White House rapidly disintegrates in his insanity, screaming and squirming like a worm on a fish-hook. He has no place left to go except out into the world where he will face us all, moneyless, powerless, hopeless, helpless, and naked.
Don’t know about alien space-helper-guardians, but I don’t have any rational reason to discount the possibility. I’m totally convinced that there is an Infinite Consciousness called by many names, like “God, Spirit, All-That-Is, etc. which is aware and in action at all times. It’s not an accident that things on earth took a sudden lurching turn for the better when The Good Guy won the election, in spite of all the illegal tricks and maneuvers of Trump, Russia, the zombie-drove ReTrumplicans et al. Soon after the election, a vaccine was found, then another. We can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, but we are still in the tunnel, and it may take a generation or two to clean up the poisons and repair the destruction The Beast has done, and even longer to heal the hate he brought up out of the depths of presumably-human souls.
Life in the Boomer Lane
November 29, 2020
Thanks for these thoughts, Victoria. I wish that karma were a fact. If it were, the guys running the Karma Show would be working overtime to get ready for the eventual appearance of 45.