A “Thank You” Aimed at the Sky

Posted on November 15, 2020


Like any number of card-carrying American hominids, Life in the Boomer Lane has been emotionally impacted by the double whammy of the Trump-Covid Convergence Phenomenon. The fact that two life-altering forces could occur at the same time seemed inexplicable. This would be akin to having a severe case of intestinal distress, while lying in bed after having thrown one’s back out.

LBL has tried to think of a reason why this (the Trump-Covid Convergence Phenomenon, not the back/intestinal issues) would have occurred. The only sane, rational explanation would seem to be extraterrestrial forces. For that reason, LBL has described her existence for the past nine months as living on an alien planet.

The only thing that perplexed her was that whoever was screwing around with our planet’s Sanity Meter had not yet revealed themselves. And worse, there were no opposing Forces of Good to alter the dire situation that had been created. Then, on the Saturday morning following the Day People Voted (formerly known as Election Day), all was revealed.

For some inexplicable reason, both LBL and Now Husband awoke at 5:30 AM, at least 30 minutes earlier than they usually awoke. Now Husband looked out the window and announced, “The planes have started,” the price they paid for living within spitting distance of National Airport in DC. Seconds later, he added “But that’s not a plane.”

What they thought was a plane was making no noise. It was also making hairpin turns that planes can’t make. It wasn’t shaped like a plane. It had blinking lights all around it. A second object appeared that looked exactly like the first. At some point, both objects stopped in mid-air and stayed there. For about 20 minutes, LBL and Now Husband stood at the window, binoculars in hand. The objects seemed to join at some point. Then they were gone, just as quickly as they had appeared.

LBL was sure this was some kind of message from whoever was attempting to override whatever forces were screwing around with our Sanity Meter. LBL waited. Sure enough, at 11 AM that morning, Biden was finally declared the winner of the election. While sanity had not been totally restored, it was clear that the Meter was at least starting to inch in another direction.

That evening, several friends gathered (masked, socially distanced) to toast the Prayed For and Dreamed About Epic Win (otherwise known as the Worst Theft of the Very Foundations of American Democracy that Ever Occurred in the History of the World, in other circles). As they toasted, as if on cue, one of the objects appeared in the sky. Now, all gathered could observe it in all its glory. Everyone stood transfixed, watching it glide silently across the sky, then stop for awhile, lights pulsing. To LBL, the lights seemed to be spelling out a big “You’re Welcome”

She has only the following words for Joe Biden: “Be grateful, Joe. But know that from now on, you are on your own. Make them proud. “

Posted in: politicians, politics