Getting Buzzy Before the Omnicide

Posted on April 24, 2019


Life in the Boomer Lane has noticed for the past couple decades that various words that usually reside in her brain have either vacated permanently or have decided to take a temporary break, believing that they are no longer needed. These words include most common nouns like shoe, knife, keys, etc. LBL has ongoing internal dialogs with such words on a regular basis, trying to explain to them that they are still needed in her daily human life. The best she can hope for is that they will sometimes send a subsitute that may or may not be acceptable (foot covering, cutter, car starter).

To exacerbate this already unacceptable situation, the English language is constantly acquiring new words. These new words come from slang that becomes acceptable, pop culture, sports, and any number of websites run by adolescents. This year, alone, 640 new words were added to our dictionaries. This means that LBL, in addition to losing the words she used to know, is losing words she never knew to begin with. This is what one commonly calls a “no-win situation” (if such a phrase even still exists anymore).

In the interest of serving Loyal Readers and in needing something to post about, LBL hereby presents a few of the latest crop of new words. Bear in mind that these are mere word neophytes now.  We don’t know how many will survive into next year, let alone stand the test of time. They need to be constantly fed by those who still know how to speak actual words.  With that in mind, let us begin:

omnicide   Omicide refers to the total extinction of the human species as a result of human action, most commonly  refers to nuclear warfare. But it can also refer to extinction through other means such as ecological catastrophe, mass choking on Presidential Tweets, and  news of Kim Kardashian studying to be an attorney.

swole  Swole refers to hitting the gym and beefing up. Swol(ing) is only disturbing when one thinks really hard about why these people choose to spend the finite amount of time they have on the planet engaged in such activity, as opposed to doing meaningful like volunteer work or reading all of LBL’s posts.

buzzy   Buzzy refers to creating a buzz, as in popular films.   This is a word that LBL will studiously refrain from using in the presence of Now Husband. Said Now Husband doesn’t like any reference to what others think of films or TV streaming shows. He prefers to read film and series descriptions and make his own decisions about watching.  That way, he can say “That really sucked,” and know that he discovered this fact entirely on his own.

go-cup  A go-cup is a disposable cup in which one can take beverages off premises. Although the phrase go-cup was first used in 1973, it has taken many decades to achieve legitimacy.  LBL believes it is a shortened version of “to-go cup,” allowing people to eliminate the word “to,” which takes 1.2 seconds to say and so has always been exhausting. Now, the elimination of the unnecessary word frees up one’s time to check incoming texts. She suspects that next year, the word “cup” will be eliminated and the phrase will simply be reduced to “go.”

As an added service, LBL hereby predicts new words and phrases that will be suggested by the current administration to be accepted into legitimacy in 2020, preferably before November. Here goes:

collusion  a fake word created by Democrats, that refers to something bad that the president did with the Russians but he didn’t.

obstruction of justice  a fake phrase, unless it refers to the Democrats who obstruct justice and everything else at every turn

Russian interference  a fake phrase created by Democrats, that refers to something bad that Russia did even though they didn’t.

Mullered, as in “I was Mullered.” to be exonerated of any wrongdoing of any kind whatsoever now or in the past or in the future or even in whatever thoughts are in one’s head that might be really bad.