There’s no better way to start the weekend than with several news events that have invaded Life in the Boomer Lane’s ever-shrinking brain. LBL believes that if one cannot rid oneself of a demon, the next best thing is to share the demon with others. LBL now passes these little demons on to you.
Joe Arpaio, sherif of Maricopa County, has made a real name for himself by spending a lot of time trying to prove that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is bogus. Murder, robbery and assault rates have all been steadily declining in his county, giving Arpaio and his sleuthing team ample free time to focus on what matters to them.
Now, Arpaio and his aides announced yesterday that a five-year investigation had “proved” that Obama’s birth certificate from Hawaii in 1961 was a fake. An accompanying presentation highlighted what they called “9 points of forgery” on the document, which focused on the angles of date stamps, and on typed letters and words.
Donald Trump, when hearing of the latest findings, Tweeted, “I was right. I never said that Obama was born in the US, and now it’s been proven. After the inauguration, I’m going to abolish the Department of Vital Statistics, along with the state of Hawaii, for causing this massive failure.”
*****
Since most of the known world now gets its news from Facebook, and, since much of what’s on Facebook is bogus, Mark Zukerman, Facebook founder has just announced the following: Facebook is partnering with third-party fact-checking organizations—including PoltiFact, Snopes, and the Washington Post—that adhere to standards set by Poynter’s International Fact-Checking Network.
And, added to that, Facebook is making it easier for users to report any posts or stories they believe to be a hoax. That part of the announcement had countless readers writing in to charge that all references to either the world being round or that climate change is real are actually false and should be immediately removed.
Millions of Tweets then flooded Twitter, encouraging Facebook to remove any references to Hillary scoring the popular vote, Russian involvement in the presidential election, anything negative about Melania Trump, and anything positive about Saturday Night Live or Alec Baldwin. Facebook officials are looking into the source of the Tweets.
Baby humans and zany animals, the most commonly represented subjects on Facebook, could not be reached for comment.
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On Thursday, the House Freedom Caucus, a conservative branch of the GOP, announced it will attempt to undo Michelle Obama’s extremely successful programs on obesity and nutrition, and on the USDA New School Nutrition Standards.
Organizers of the attempt had this to say: “These touchy-feely programs are a slap in the face to all red-blooded Americans. Let liberals stuff themselves on tofu and quinoa and drink wimpy herbal tea. Real Americans want Big Macs, Slurpees, and candy. It’s what this country was founded on.”
An anonymous Tweeter posted, “The House Freedom Caucus rocks! When I take office, I will round up all vegans and make food nutrition labels illegal! No one can read those long words, anyway!”
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Nelson Bartley
December 16, 2016
We can almost hope that those last three paragraphs are true…then the crazies will all keel over from heart attacks.
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 17, 2016
A comforting thought, indeed.
Andrew Reynolds
December 16, 2016
I’ve been telling people for years that the earth is flat – maybe our new overlords can finally start putting the record straight and jail everyone claiming the earth is round. The madness needs to end.
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 17, 2016
Hang on, Andrew. All your dreams are about to come true.
Keith
December 16, 2016
Renee, those cats on Facebook are not really cats, they are actors. As for the House Freedom Caucus, on their long list of affronts to real ‘Mericans, they noted that the mpg standards on automobiles needed to be abolished. We should have the freedom to drive a Hummer that gets 9 miles to the gallon. Not included in this plan is how foreign car companies have to meet higher standards in their countries, so such action may lead to fewer American company car sales. Keep looking into those cats, they also may be illegal aliens. Keith
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 17, 2016
I suspect we will see many health and safety standards fall by the wayside, all in the name of freedom and personal choice. And, if it puts millions into the pockets of those in charge, so much the better.
Keith
December 17, 2016
Renee, there is an assumption by the incoming administration that all regulations are bad and needs to be eliminated. The more appropriate view is we need to evaluate regulations on a routine basis, improving them where we can and, if not doing what is intended, changing them. Our government is actually pretty good about the regulation process with proposed regulations and several comment periods. It should be noted that the a President-elect has not been a paragon on regulatory compliance in his businesses and foundations. Keith
Martin Cororan
December 16, 2016
Splendid…if also horrific
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 17, 2016
Thanks, Martin, and thanks for reading.
truthifixion
December 18, 2016
Hi America,
I’m not sure whether Nigel Farage has popped up on your cultural radar as Trumps new BFF or not (he claims he has, I suspect some ninja level photoshopping).
Anyway, just in case he has, and if you’re not familiar with the political nuances of UKIP (Farage’s former party), please ignore him.
On behalf of the UK we’re sorry. As if having Trump wasn’t enough you’ve got Trump-lite too.
The main similarities being the fact that Farage has never held elected office, and is a huge fear mongering narcissist.
See you in four years, when you recover from collective mental breakdown.
Good luck 😳
Life in the Boomer Lane
December 22, 2016
I will look up Farage. And thanks. We need all the positive energy and luck we can get. I heard someone ask if Canada can keep an eye on us until an adult gets back. I wish.