The following is a guest post by Darcie Purcell, who had a huge ah-ha moment while watching her son’s high school football game. Darcie is lucky. It takes many of us much longer to have that same ah-ha moment. Others are still waiting. Darcie can be visited at Being 40: Shift Happens and her Facebook page.
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My son just started his freshman year in high school. We had our first Varsity Football home game and I was so excited to be there. To experience high school again – Friday Night Lights with the Metea Valley Mustangs!
I realized when I entered the stadium that I’m a parent of a high school kid NOT the high school kid. That makes me ancient, uncool, a bad dresser (or the dreaded wanna be/cougar that tries to dress younger than she is)…I don’t want to be those things.
I took my seat on the bleachers next to my friends who seemed oblivious to the significance in this moment (did I say I have a flair for the dramatic?).
The music was blaring through the loud speakers. Kids were everywhere, laughing, horsing around, screaming, flirting, gossiping…football players on the field and off the field all in their jerseys, marching band members dressed and carrying their instruments (did you know it is cool to be in marching band now…who knew?!?), girls in the shortest shorts and boys in baggy pants.
As I was taking in this sensory overload, I suddenly felt this energy to my right. I turned my head and was looking at the energy that I had been drawn to…the cheerleaders for MVHS. They were walking through the stands – uniforms with glitter, big bows in their perfectly curled blonde and brunette ponytails, giggling and excited for this first of the treasured high school football games.
One of the girls ran up to her mom in the stands and it was a mom that I knew. The mom has had a rough road–divorce, two kids, a little bitter…okay a lot bitter. Watching the interaction between the two of them, which just looked like a mom smiling and talking to her daughter, seemed significant to me. Mom is tired and the road has been rough. Daughter full of goals and big plans for life.
What happens? What happens between 14 and 44? It was a clear moment for me that showed how quickly life happens. Every decision, every non-decision and the attitude that I have chosen have lead me to this moment … and it went by at lightning speed. All those 14 year-olds will be 44 and sitting in the stands one day SOON. What choices will they have made? Will they have a great career doing what they love? Will they have kids? Will they be on Prozac? Will they be divorced? Will they be 50 lbs overweight? Will they be happy?
I still don’t like being the old lady in the stands, but that’s for me to maneuver and come to terms with. My BIG realization is that as the old proverb states…drop by drop the bucket fills. What I do today matters. The attitude I choose today matters. What I put in my mouth today matters. How I decide to treat my son today matters. How I decide to treat my coworkers today matters. How I decide to treat myself today matters. Laughing today matters. Slowing down today matters. Hugging a friend today matters. Calling my sister today matters. The next time I am going to be in those stands I will probably be watching my grandson play football (next to my very handsome much younger new husband!!) and it will come probably twice as fast as 44 came at me.
I shall end with a quote from the great philosopher Ferris Bueller. “Life moves pretty fast…if you don’t stop and look around once in awhile you could miss it.”
Go Go Mustangs!
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Would you like to guest post on Guerrilla Aging? Send your post to lifeintheboomerlane@gmail.com.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Lynne Spreen
April 4, 2014
Exceptionally moving, esp. because Darcie’s words are all the more powerful for their plain-spokenness. In my critique group last night, a woman in her late sixties read from her memoir about being in junior high. Her memories were sharpened by having become a secondary school teacher. As she read, my stomach churned at my own memories. Youth was not a time I’d like to revisit. Although I miss my taut and perky everything, I’m way happier now. Way. Thanks for a fantastic post.
katecrimmins
April 4, 2014
Heavens! 44 is not old! I have recently had this same moment in a different way. I don’t have children but I have nieces and nephews. My niece’s daughter is in college (yeah, even I can’t believe it). All I can remember is swimming with my gorgeous wonderful beautiful niece when she was 5 years old and now she has a college-age daughter. How did that happen? Where did it go? How wasn’t I conscious about it? Next thing you know, I’ll be at her daughter’s wedding and teaching another generation how to swim. (with my much younger hot husband of course)
Darcie Purcell
April 4, 2014
Thank you…I may not be “old” but at that moment I knew I wasn’t 14 anymore!!! For some crazy reason it came as a bit of a shock! The point is, yes, we all have that moment and we all need to remember that life happens and to be mindful of what we do everyday…oh yes, and I am just as excited about my younger hot husband as you are about yours! 🙂
on thehomefrontandbeyond
April 4, 2014
oh to be 44 again!
Phil Taylor
April 4, 2014
Loved this. I have those same thoughts every day. My aha moment this week came when I heard that Ralph Macchio is now as old as Mr. Miyagi was when they filmed Karate Kid.
btg5885
April 4, 2014
Just when you think you are cool, a college kid will call you sir or ma’am, bursting your bubble. My big thing about getting old, was I did not expect to have to deal with a losing hair and acne at the same time. I thought the former canceled the latter. It proves God has a sense of humor. I enjoyed your post, especially with same nickname for the high school that my kids had. BTG
The Moon is a Naked Banana
April 4, 2014
Hey I know what you mean by the ‘ma’am’! I work in a boarding school and the boyfriend of one of the students very respectfully called me ‘ma’am.’ That was the day I decided I should apply for the pension.
pegoleg
April 4, 2014
So true.
Sounds like the game was pretty lousy if you’re not planning to go back until your grandson is playing.
Valentine Logar
April 6, 2014
It all matters, truer words aren’t out there. Every decade we are on this spinning globe we get closer to small and large truths. This was wonderfully done.
hoping4astory
April 6, 2014
I only wish I was 44 again. Trust me, you’re still young. At 63, almost 64. I’m just starting to feel old. Maybe you should spend some time with people your own age too. And you’re right, it’s most important to have a good relationship with your kids You have plenty of time to make it the best you can!
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Life in the Boomer Lane
April 8, 2014
Thanks to all of you who responded to Darcy’s guest post!