Ms Freshly Pressed Answers Your Pressing Questions

Posted on September 19, 2011


I’d like to thank all the folks who responded to my Freshly Pressed post entitled “A Guide to Life After 50.”  I’d especially like to thank the ones who commented using actual words contained in the English language.  Many of you expressed comments that showed a real awareness of the world and of your place in it.  These mostly came down to a profound appreciation of karaoke, Jello shots, and tattoos. 

Several of you had important questions to ask, and I’d like to answer them now, before I forget that I ever even wrote this post.

Alaina Mabaso asks: Do you think it’s ok to wear beach-purchased t-shirts to bed?? What about on laundry day?
Alaina, I’d like to tell you it’s OK, but I’d also like you to imagine standing outside a burning building in the middle of the night, wearing something that says “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.  Hate me because I have huge boobs.”  Or I’d like you to imagine your washer overflowing, water pouring through the floor to the apartment under yours which is inahbited by an entire motorcycle gang who burst into your apartment to see you standing in ankle deep water, wearing something that says “I’m hotter than your girlfriend!”

Deliriously Devine says: “I’m loving the bit about all the flirting and can’t wait to find some juicy young thing (which now days qualifies as anyone under 40) and tell him he’s ‘hot’…or is it that he’s cute? Hot is out, right? Can I say ‘smoking’? I could squeeze a cheek as well, right? Face, of course!!!”

DD, I’m thinking that words come and word go, but butts are always here.

Chris White asks: Does this (post) cover life after 60 as well?
Chris, you’ll be happy to know that all of my posts are written to travel with you for the remainder of your time on earth.

Rowland Jones asks: Is flirting really essential?
Yes, Rowland, flirting is really essential if you are a woman.  If you are a man, which I know you are (because you signed your comment “Mr Rowland Jones”), flirting with a woman young enough to be your daughter or granddaughter may result in criminal prosecution.  But if you are a woman named Rowland, you have another problem entirely.

Cyprus Life in Pictures writes: “I just reached 53 this week and after reading this I really don’t know what I can do anymore. HELP!”
This is a huge problem for a lot of people, Cyprus.  You can consult with someone about this, as long as they are not under the age of 35 or related to you.  If they happen to be your adult children, they will most likely tell you to stay home and limit your activity to sending them large checks.

I’d also like to pass on the names of several blogs I have discovered from people who commented on my post or who were recommended to me by someone who commented on my post:

Ramblings and Rumblings is a seriously hilarious take on anything even vaguely associated with life. This woman speaks to me. In her latest post, Not Reading This is A Mortal Sin, she writes, “I like when people say ‘My sky deity is better than yours’ and then other people say “No–mine is better, prick!” and then the first people say ‘I’m going to blow you off this planet, assface, in the name of my sky deity’ and the other people say ‘I’d like to see you try it, dickweed. My sky deity is totally going to smite your sky deity’s ass.’”  I. love. This. Woman.

Crabby Old Fart:  I’m coming late to this party.  Don already has legions of followers, and he deserves every single one of them.  Even before you get to the actual posts, you can read his statement “My real friends are all dead,” followed by 41 Problems With Young People (The first is “They are too tall.”).  His bio page says:  “This is me. Name’s Don. I don’t care much for young people and I’m not too sure how I feel about you.”  His Facebook fan page says he’s a widower and 83 years old.  If he’s really a widower and if I weren’t married, I’d be calling him.  Or stalking him. 

Single Malt Monkey is a perfectly ordinary person, if your definition of “ordinary” is someone who is smart, funny, irreverant, though-provoking and who writes great poetry and prose, is a photographer, builds guitars and knows a hell of a lot about music.  Al spent 30+ years in the corporate world, now wallows blissfully in the creative arts.  You got my attention, Al, and that’s even without your hot photo.

And finally, this from Tony Rumans, who wanted me to see the Christmas card he sent out last year: