My Now Husband is sort of new to this Halloween thing, as well as to the Kid Thing in general. Last year, NH wore a scary mask that brought all the little kids to tears. This year, NH went to the door as himself (Only one child cried) and tried really hard to say bright, pleasant things to the kids. Here were Life in the Boomer Lane’s three favorites, before she forbade him from coming to the door again:
To two little boys (maybe five years old) wearing Super Hero costumes: “Which one of you looks like a girl?”
To a group of middle school girls: “Come back again. Like in ten years.”
To one particular girl in a group of high school girls, “Oh, I like nurses!”
Life in the Boomer Lane 
writerwoman61
November 1, 2010
There should be a class for giving out Halloween candy! Thanks for my morning giggle!
Wendy
lifeintheboomerlane
November 1, 2010
After last night, I agree!
sunshineinlondon
November 1, 2010
That’s so funny! I can understand why you banned him from the front door, but I’m sure you also wondered what else he might have said? Thanks for the laugh!
Sunshine
lifeintheboomerlane
November 1, 2010
I know. The sad thing was, he was really trying. After the “nurse” comment, he turned to me and said, “Uh oh, I probably shouldn’t have said that.” I agreed, then waited to see the flashing lights of the police car coming down the street.
duke1959
November 1, 2010
I always sit on the steps to our home and yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my dads death. The longer I sat their thinking about him the less concern I had about how much the kids got. At least a got rid of a bunch of candy that my wife bought! You are right he needs to watch the comments about high school girls.
lifeintheboomerlane
November 1, 2010
I’m sorry for your loss and that the holiday brings this up for you. Re the holiday: I’m making the gradual switch from candy to little toys. And no chocolate (The cocoa bean industry in Africa uses child slave labor). But even with the wretched excess, etc, I like to see the holiday as life-affirming. I love to wallow in the sight of all those small, upturned faces. Re Dan: The awful thing was that when he made the nurse comment, he actually didn’t realize how it sounded until the words were out of his mouth. He got this stricken look on his face. And the one about “Come back in 10 years” was said after the girls were walking away. It was supposed to be funny, just directed at me. Dan is really a good guy.
dennisfinocchiaro
November 1, 2010
Hahaha I seriously laughed out loud at this! 🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
November 1, 2010
Glad you enjoyed it!
duke1959
November 1, 2010
Its really not a big deal anymore. I have some parents in the neighborhood that are not real happy with me!
yael
November 1, 2010
Have they written about him yet on the neighborhood listserv? It’s going to be the house everyone avoids next year!
lifeintheboomerlane
November 1, 2010
Poor Dan. Don’t say anything to him at Christmas. He’ll be mortified.
Average Girl
November 2, 2010
Oh my, I laughed through all three!
Lucky you, to be able to cull this fine comedic material from your man. Always. Write. It. Down.
lifeintheboomerlane
November 2, 2010
Great suggestion! And thanks for reading!
davidwburns
November 3, 2010
Stifling serious giggles here in my quiet little cube!
lifeintheboomerlane
November 4, 2010
Thanks for reading, David, and thanks for the positive response! The “Boomer” refers to me being a baby boomer, although several years ago I was actually on the U of Oklahoma campus and in their library.
davidwburns
November 3, 2010
Oh, and does “Boomer” in your blog title have to do with the University of Oklahoma? Cuz if so, “BOOMER SOONER!”
duke1959
November 4, 2010
The “kids” do have a sense of humor!