Life in the Boomer Lane didn’t expect to be writing another post about another Craigs List dryer. But Now Husband can’t seem to stop buying dryers on Craigs List. He bought the last one a couple months ago from some people who sell appliances that other people have left in storage and never claimed. It cost about $200 and looked better than the one he and LBL had, which wasn’t working anyway. NH and Delivery Guy narrowly averted an altercation, but when the dust settled, LBL and NH had a “new” washer and dryer and all was well. Sort of.
Two days ago, NH announced that the “new” dryer had stopped working. LBL chose, for several reasons, not to say “I told you so,” mainly because she actually never did tell him so, meaning she never did tell him not to buy the sketchy dryer in the first place. So she just said “Uh huh” and tried to ignore the fact that her primary residence no longer contained a functioning dryer.
NH came up with a great idea: He called an Appliance Repair Guy. The ARG said the problem was that the dryer needed a new circuit board. In laptops, they call this a “motherboard.” In humans, they call this a “brain.” LBL wasn’t home when the ARG was at her house. When she got home, NH said, “The Appliance Repair Guy said there was nothing wrong with the dryer!” LBL asked why, then, it wasn’t working. NH answered, “It’s only the circuit board that isn’t working, not the dryer!” In the interest of continuing her marriage for the foreseeable future, she will refrain from making an obvious joke here.
NH did some quick research and concluded that a new circuit board would cost a couple hundred dollars. LBL assumed they would now finally get a new dryer, one that came in a box and would be delivered by someone who wouldn’t scream or threaten NH. She was delusional. NH hunkered down in front of the computer and started searching. LBL innocently asked him what sales were out there. After all, it was Memorial Day weekend, a time for all loyal, caring citizens of this country to get out and buy everything in sight, as a way to honor our fallen heroes. LBL thought this would be an optimal time for appliance-buying. Instead, she found NH on Craigs List again.
LBL prepared to leave for an appointment. NH asked her to take his car and he would take hers to check out the dryer he found on Craigs List. LBL was a bit skeptical. She has a convertible. It is extremely small. But whenever large items are purchased, the top is out down, and the car effectively becomes a pick up truck.
LBL asked, “Are you actually going to buy another dryer from a person on Craigs List?” NH didn’t answer. “What are we going to do with the dryer that we already have?” “We’ll use it for parts,” he said.
Parts? Who collects dryers in their home to use for parts? Many decades ago, LBL’s Uncle George, a slightly eccentric collector of absolutely anything that had no value whatsoever (including stocks that only went in one unfortunate direction), collected old, unusable taxi cabs for parts. He had them all over the property of his father’s house. LBL’s grandfather went berserk one day, after people kept coming onto the property to try to get rides somewhere, and told George he had 24 hours to get rid of all the cabs. LBL’s family is filled with extremely colorful and more-than-slightly unbalanced people. She would not have wanted to marry any of them. Had she inadvertently married Uncle George? Would she be living in a graveyard of old appliances all over the house? She fled to her appointment.
Within minutes of LBL returning home, NH pulled up in front of the house with a dryer in the car. LBL came out to greet him. He told LBL he had driven to Springfield (accessible by Interstate 95). He had paid $100 for the dryer, $100 less than the original one he was going to get. A neighbor came out of her house, because she couldn’t believe what she was looking at. She ended up being roped into helping him get the dryer out of the car and onto the porch.
NH was buoyant. “You should have seen the people waving at me on the highway! One guy gave me a ‘two thumbs up’! It was great! It reminded me of when we bought that mattress from that guy on Craigs List and brought it home via the Parkway!” Yes, LBL remember that as well. She believes they narrowly avoided being incarcerated that time.
It’s hours later now. NH is asleep in bed, Miracle the Cat is asleep on a chair in the family room, the latest new dryer is on the front porch. And there are freshly laundered clothes hanging all over the house, in various states of drying. LBL is considering stringing clothes lines up in the backyard. Just in case.