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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »women«
I’ll Have A Cut, Color, and Formaldehyde, Please
I have curly hair. No, wait. I have CURLY HAIR. Like in “You can be a really good person and deserve good things in life, but I am Your Hair and I will screw you everyday of your life by being completely out of control and no matter what you do I will make you […]
Communal Dressing Rooms: Where Dreams Go to Die
May 20, 2011
I’m just as evolved as the average woman. I’m smart, I’m funny, and I can sing “See You in September” backward. I paint, I write, I can still recite the entire introduction to the old TV show “Superman.” I’d say I have a pretty good self-image, except for two areas of life: finding myself at […]
Labor Days
May 19, 2011
Thanks to Newsweek, I now know that laughing gas is being touted as an aid during labor (the kind that ends in childbirth, rather than the kind that ends in a paycheck). This got me to thinking about my own labors, in 1975, 1976, and 1980. This was shortly after husbands began routinely appearing in […]
Ask Me About My Colonoscopy
March 19, 2011
When burying people up to their necks in sand and releasing ants to crawl all over their heads became passe, someone invented the colonoscopy. Colonoscopies are especially important for people over the age of 50 because it provides them with the need for something that no one ever told them about and which can’t be spelled anyway. […]
The Oldest Living Boomer
March 3, 2011
Old Boomer (but not Kathy) The Philadelphia Daily News (“Our motto: We aren’t the Inquirer and you’ve never heard of us but we are still here, just in case anyone is reading”) reported last November that Baby Boomer Number One is Happy and Healthy As She Nears 65. This might not have been hot news […]
How Much Does A Woman Cost?
March 1, 2011
This past Sunday, Life in the Boomer Lane’s friend Roni and LBL were driving to Baltimore for the annual ACC Craft Show (“Our motto: We have amazing crafts. You can either buy one of them or make your mortgage payment this month.”) Roni was regaling LBL with the latest romp (in the salon, not the bedroom) she had with her […]
A man spreads his legs…
February 7, 2011
at an office party. He is seated in a chair and you are standing nearby, looking in his direction. He points to one knee and says “This is Thanksgiving.” He points to the other knee and says, “This is Christmas.” Then he asks, “Why not visit me between the holidays?” The above was part of […]
Fashion Begins At Home
February 3, 2011
Now Husband Dan will tell you (as will the mailman, random neighbors, Girl Scout cookie vendors, and UPS delivery people) that I am wont to change into my sleeping attire at any hour of the day, as long as I know I’m not leaving the house again. Sleep attire for me consists of an assortment […]
The Myth of Older Men Wanting Younger Women
January 7, 2011
Ooooh, provocative blog title. Life in the Boomer Lane can hear the heavy breathing of people lining up on either side of this debate that is so incendiary it will make you forget about bedbugs and J-Woww’s nude photo scandal. So here goes: LBL has an ongoing disagreement with her friend Jean. She insists that all […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
May 23, 2011
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