Disasters, Natural and Unnatural

Posted on May 15, 2020


The news lately has been filled with so much to ponder, that Life in the Boomer Lane barely had time to focus on her three hour cry-for-help call to Apple this morning. But she did get through the call, learned her issue would remain unresolved, and so could then get back to the musing at hand: considering the variety of life-threatening issues that present themselves to her eyeballs every time she turns on the news or looks at the news feed on her phone. The following are a carefully curated array of some of them:

Covid-19 Covid continues to dominate the news, although in slightly different form. The President continues to fight the pandemic he wants us to have, rather the the one we actually do have. To that end, he has eliminated both the World Health Organization and the advice of any sentient human who possesses a medical degree or has had any experience whatsoever with a pandemic. He relies, instead on Dr Hunch, in order to give updates about this current life-threatening situation. Those of us who have thus far survived both the pandemic, as well as the suggestion of bleach and Lysol ingestion as a preventative, are still left with the fear that Eric Trump’s mixed metaphors will be the thing that eventually does us in.

Murder Hornets. These flying insects have been spotted in the US since December, settling in just in time to watch the pandemic distract us from their arrival. Their December arrival does give credence, though, to these murderous guys being Obama’s final gift to the new administration. LBL is not yet aware that Fox has been alerting folks to this Conspiracy Du Jour, but she suspects they will soon. Added to this is the fact that the hornets originated in Asia, giving credence to some kind of Covid-Murder Hornet connection.

Wildfires in Florida and a Polar Vortex across the US and Canada, has put a damper on springtime. Giant locust swarms, which started in Ethiopia and Somalia and then spread to a number of other countries, have unleashed locusts the size of dorm refrigerators across the land. Epic wildfires raged across Australia, neatly followed by devastating flooding.

Hurricane season is expected to be worse than normal this year. Without any scientists left in the administration, nobody knows what constitutes “worse than normal” but Steve Mnuchin, Trump’s Secretary of the Treasury, is already preparing to issue a new standard for “normal,” so that these hurricanes don’t seem so bad and the stock market won’t be impacted and everybody can just go about their usual business without worry.

Loyal Readers who are concerned about the dearth of any scientific and/or well-considered thought emanating from this administration are welcome to consult Facebook for any number of crises doing us in and explanations for what ails us. One post showed a captured Murder Hornet with Obama’s face on it. It’s tough to argue with that one.