Your Very Own Virtual Dating Assistant

This month’s Marie Claire magazine informed Life in the Boomer Lane that successful professional women are paying ghost writers to communicate for them on dating sites like Match.com.  Women who do this “tend to work a lot and do nice things for themselves.  They go to the spa.  They pay people to clean their house and do their laundry.  They can afford to off-load the things they don’t have time to do themselves.”

This makes a lot of sense to LBL.  Why hang around wasting your time creating a relationship with someone when you can be at the gym or spa or shopping for designer handbags?  After all, relationship building can be so tedious and annoying.  And, like laundry, just when you think you have the hang of it, it’s time to do it all over again.

For a modest fee like $1200 per month, your “virtual dating assistant” will “create your profile, filter potential suitors, send flirtatious emails, and set up dates.”  LBL is wondering when, exactly, these busy, working, spa-going women actually jump into the game.  Do some rely on the outsourcing professionals to make initial contact only, or are they so busy that they don’t make an appearance until it’s time to choose items for their bridal registry?   LBL envisions several possible communications that can occur after the paid intermediary exits the scene:

He: I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to be meeting you in person.  Not many people share my belief that Paul Valery is a genius and has been consistently underrated.  I prefer him any day to  Rilke or Yeats.
She: Oh right, I think I saw his fashion line at Bryant Park.
He: Uh, Paul Valery.  You know, poetry?
She: Oh right, uh huh, poetry. (scanning the room, hoping to see the virtual dating assistant hiding somewhere)  “Will you excuse me please while I go to the ladies room?”
***

He: I was surprised that you enjoy birding.
She: Yeah, me too.
***

He: Your emails were really playful.  I have to tell you, I keep thinking about that whole molasses thing.
She: Molasses?  Uh, I think that’s way too many carbs.

The article points out another potential pitfall, as well.  If everyone had virtual assistants, then wouldn’t online dating come down to virtual assistants just chatting each other up?  It reminds LBL of the play “R.U.R.”, where the happy friendly robots ultimately lead a revolution and take over. Hey, it might actually be more interesting that way.

Scott Valdez, CEO of Atlanta-based Virtual Dating Assistants, said, “Our clients’ main weak point is time.”  LBL agrees that these women have a weakness, Scott, but she doesn’t think it’s “time.”