A close friend of Life in the Boomer Lane is now teaching an AARP refresher course for senior drivers. The class is being held in Florida, in an area known for chiropractors, podiatrists, and over-55 mobile home communities.
LBL’s friend, whom we shall call Bernice (and Bernie for short, in honor of her favorite presidential candidate) introduced herself and then said, “Now, I undestand that all of you have probably been driving for at least 50 years…” All heads nodded (especially the students who were nodding off). Later, a woman approached Bernie and said, “I thought about your remark and I realized I have been driving for 80 years.” The woman was 93-years-old and started driving when there were no minimum age requirements to get behind the wheel.
The first order of business was for students to create name signs for their desks, so Bernie could then call people by name. She instructed everyone to tear a sheet of paper out of their notebooks, which all were, after some degree of fussing, eventually able to do. The next instruction, “Fold the paper lengthwise in half”, was the start of problems. People held their papers in the air, waving them at Bernie for help. Others folded theirs width-wise. A couple people made fans and stared cooling themselves off. One student unintentionally created an origami rabbit.Another started coughing and used the paper for a tissue.
After an inordinate amount of time spent to produce the name signs, Bernie started the lesson by distributing books and then introducing herself. Books were held upside down, even more people nodded off, and Bernie was told repeatedly that she was speaking too softly. Bernie spoke loudly and slowly. Most students stayed awake and paid attention.
Bernie began with the basics. She told the students that how they sat in the car was as important as how they drove the car. Proper body positioning was critical, especially the need to see above the steering wheel. “How many of you have ever seen a car in front of you that looked like no one was driving? Then you pass the car and see that there is a driver, but the driver is driving by looking though the steering wheel.” Most students seemed perplexed, until one woman raised her hand and said, “I’m 4’8″. I raise the seat as high as it goes. I have wood blocks attached to the pedals. I still can’t see above the steering wheel.” Everyone nodded in agreement.
Bernie moved on with other topics. Things were gong pretty well, until she mentioned the use of the GPS, the Blue Tooth system, and cautioned the students not to speak on their cell phones while driving. Hands flew up and people started whispering to neighbors (or, at least, they believed they were whispering).
Everyone had questions about cell phones, mostly asking Bernie to explain things about their phones that they didn’t understand. Bernie passed her phone around the room, and the students all passed theirs around. Every asked questions . These questons had nothing to do with driving. Bernie answered most questions as best as she could. She never got to explain the GPS or Blue Tooth systems.
Bernie gave up further discussion and decided to show a video to accompany what had been discussed in the book. The equipment wasn’t working, and Bernie asked the class if anyone was familiar with how to get the DVD player to play. A hand shot up and Joyce gratefully called on the student. “Can we go back to folding paper?” the student asked.
When the class ended, Bernie thanked everyone for attending, woke up the sleepers, and waved good-bye to all departing students. After everyone was gone, she was alarmed to realized two things: One was that these people would actually be on the road, at some point. The other was that she was now holding the wrong cell phone.
Terri Webster Schrandt
March 11, 2016
Oh, this is just hilarious! With few exceptions, this classroom environment sounds like one of my college class I teach!
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 12, 2016
Scary, indeed!
Kate Crimmins
March 11, 2016
Ok! I’m not taking that class! (although on second thought there is this one thing about my cell phone……)
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 12, 2016
Gosh, I should be taking that class, as well.
Elyse
March 11, 2016
Eh? Bernie? Speak up.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 12, 2016
🙂
ugiridharaprasad
March 11, 2016
Reblogged this on ugiridharaprasad.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 12, 2016
Thanks for the reblog!
ermigal
March 12, 2016
This is great–thanks for the laughs! I’m aiming for “Worst Parking Job Ever” but I guess that’s what the yellow lines in the parking lot are for, right?
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 13, 2016
I could do an entire post about the fact that whatever I do, I always end up parling at a severe angle, in lots where there isn’t a car next to me. I pull out, do over, pull out, do over, and it’s still the same.
Keith
March 12, 2016
I think I have been in front of the 4’8″ driver. It looked like a driver-less car.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 13, 2016
They do exist. And the little men with hats make it look like a hat is driving the car.
lauramacky
March 13, 2016
I’m cracking up! We have basketball on (Go Warriors) and all of a sudden a burst out with a cackle. My husband asked what was so funny so I did my best to explain but it was much funnier before my mouth opened. lol
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 13, 2016
Thanks for sharing, Laura. I live for comments like this.
lauramacky
March 13, 2016
Glad you enjoyed it! I thought you might. 🙂
Little Voice
March 13, 2016
Great fun…and thanks for letting me know the part of that class that I slept through.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 13, 2016
My pleasure. Do you have any issues with you cell phone?
Ellyn
March 13, 2016
Renee, I shared this with my mom (83) who lives in Florida with a 94 year old man who scares the s_-t out of me when I visit because he insists on driving. She said the only thing you left out was the waving (and flapping) arms of the students requesting time out to go to the bathroom.
Jean
March 13, 2016
As a short person, I was thrilled when I first discovered Toyotas in my mid-twenties. The first time I sat in one and realized that I could see the road ahead of me and that I could actually put my whole foot on the accelerator instead of driving with the tip of my big toe, it was a revelation. I’ve been driving compact Japanese cars ever since. Over the years, I’ve rented a number of American cars and discovered that, even when they are small cars, they seem to be designed for tall people. I always ended up feeling as though I was sitting in a hole and could barely see over the steering wheel. I’ve had a number of conversations with rental car salespeople who wanted to upgrade me from the compact car I reserved to “something more comfortable;” I always held my ground insisting that, for someone my height, larger is not “more comfortable.”
Lisa Pomerantz
March 16, 2016
I took an online course for 50+ to lower my insurance payments. It was about six hours long (forewarned) and had many quizzes before the test. I scored 100 and saved about $500 per year on my car insurance. A good afternoon if I say so myself.
Life in the Boomer Lane
March 16, 2016
Wow, good to know. I will check into it. Thanks for sharing!