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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All posts tagged under »sarcasm«
Let’s Talk Ice Cream
May 27, 2014
With the exception of some pretty blatant misrepresentation at the time Life in the Boomer Lane, age seven, was about to undergo a tonsillectomy: “You’ll be able to eat all the ice cream you want!” (The ice cream took on the form of nail-embedded sandpaper as it went down LBL’s throat), LBL has been […]
An Offer I Am Forced to Refuse
May 21, 2014
Because Life in the Boomer Lane is both an extremely famous blogger and a former hula hoop champion, she gets a lot of offers. Luckily she has not yet received any that invite her to insert herself into her own anatomy. Most are from people who want to promote their writing and/or merchandise. Two have […]
Sex and Good Grammar
May 15, 2014
An alert reader sent Life in the Boomer Lane a joke titled “Sex and Good Grammar,” about a 74-year-old man who gets his fondest wish for his birthday. LBL won’t go into the details of the joke. She invites readers to Google it on their own. Instead, LBL got to thinking about the grammar […]
The Museum of Broken Relationships
May 6, 2014
Zagreb, Croatia (formerly Yugoslavia) is the home of the Museum of Broken Relationships. While the point can be made that Yugoslavia is, itself, a major broken relationship, this particular museum deals with couples who have split. Many of these splits occurred well before Gwyneth Paltrow’s (Oscar-winning/world-class mom/chef/foodie/blogger/wife of rock star) invention of the term […]
Marry Smart: Advice for Finding the One
May 3, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane has been stalked lately by a bra (specifically a Bali, underwire full coverage). She is also being stalked by shoes, linen cardigans, comforters, tiny photo frames, and a stretch canvas buffalo. These are all items that LBL has, at one time or another, placed in her shopping cart on various […]
The Shopping Maul
April 28, 2014
Life in the Boomer Lane loves to shop. Anywhere, anytime, anyplace. (A digression here: LBL is not a shopaholic. Nor is she wealthy. Often, she buys nothing when she shops. When she does buy, it is mostly items on sale or on discount. And most of what she buys she returns anyway, which is […]
Things I Don’t Understand
April 21, 2014
There are a lot of things Life in the Boomer Lane doesn’t understand anymore, and she fears she is running out of time to make any sense of them. 1. She doesn’t understand why, when she flies (on a plane, mostly), TSA officials are always staring her down, ordering her to get into (or […]
QVC Solves Global Warming
April 16, 2014
In 1690, the Massachusetts Bay Colony issued the first paper money in the colonies which would later become the United States. In 1691, QVC (Quality and Value for the Colonies) was created as a way for people to spend the new money they had. Today, QVC (in 1986, the C was changed to stand for […]
How to Look Beautiful, Dead or Alive
April 13, 2014
Throw out every single beauty product you have. Jill Kargman, the daughter of the former chairman of Chanel (BIG money, access to all of the best beauty secrets on the planet) has revealed in the New York Times every single beauty procedure and beauty product she uses. Let’s skip over the fact […]
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Life in the Boomer Lane 
Biodynamic Farming: Poop in A Ram’s Horn
June 3, 2014
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Friends of Life in the Boomer Lane belong to a food coop. When they are out-of-town, she and Now Husband receive their share (30 lbs of root vegetables). Or an extra loaf of bread. The bread (and everything else), she was informed, was the product of biodynamic farming. LBL, plunk in the middle of her […]