Life in the Boomer Lane has just completed her holiday festivities, mostly by pretending her home was a phone booth and her family was vintage college students and the trick was to see how many of them could fit into the obviously inadequate space. Mostly, things worked out, even if a couple small children had to cover their bodies at night with wall hangings and towels because there weren’t enough blankets, and showering in a house with antiquated plumbing was reminicient of being on Mykonos in 1970 when the island simply ran out of water.
Now it is January 2 and the real 2020 has officially begun. LBL is ready to roll up her sleeves and tackle any number of pressing issues, mostly involving how she was able to so easily and dramatically spend a lot of time consuming things like Snickers and sugar cookies made by toddlers, instead of anything that could be called an actual food product.
She thought it would be of benefit to Loyal Readers to predict the year ahead, based on nothing more than her uncanny ability to have survived the year just past. She planned to predict the following: Half the country would continue to be appalled by the other half, while the handful of people who had no opinion would find something else to be appalled about. Climate change would be appalled by all of us. Trump would either be re-elected or not, giving one half of the country a good reason to predict the end of human life as we know it. The climate would chuckle that humans actually believed they had that much power. Half the population would find new ways to meditate/exercise/fast/yoga their way through their days, diligently keeping track of their steps and water intake. The other half would achieve the same level of health and zen by shopping at the new mega mall in New Jersey, located where mafia guys used to be conveniently buried.
But all that is alarmingly predictable. So, instead, LBL took a look back, to see what humanoids in times past predicted about 2020. Bear in mind that Trump was, during those years, still a whiny little star in the sky, complaining that all the other stars were fake and hated him. Those human predictors would have had no idea that 2020 would be defined by an overly large Trump squatting on all of our collective faces.
In 1911, a doctor at the Royal College of Physicians in London predicted that by 2020, humans would only have one big toe. Thinking about it, though, she sees that pedicures would be a lot less expensive, and shoes a bit more comfortable.
In 1900, John Elfreth Watkins Jr., the curator of mechanical technology at the Smithsonian Institution, predicted that “there will be no C, X, or Q in our everyday alphabet. They will be abandoned because unnecessary.” LBL has no idea what, exactly, Watkins had against those specific letters. She, herself, has never quite trusted the letter ‘x” but she wouldn’t go as far as eliminating it. And, beside, calling “X Men” “Eggs Men” wouldn’t be quite as effective.
Others predicted that buttons and zippers would become a thing of the past. Apes would be servants. Our homes and everything in them would be made of steel. Women would have superhuman strength and be Amazon-like. People would live in flying houses. Everyone would be vegetarian. Communication would be through telepathy.
The 1900 World’s Fair wisely predicted the almost total automation of society, communication via video chat and education via technology. On the other hand, they also predicted flying firefighters with batwings, domesticated whales used as transportation, and robot lipstick applicators.
Yet not one person over time could predict the cult of celebrity worship, the rise of social media or the popularity of dating apps. Like the metamorphasis of the Republican party, evangelical Christianity, and the size of women’s posteriors, they have snuck up on all of us, while we had our attention focused elsewhere.
So here’s to 2020. The only guaranteed prediction is bigger, bolder, brasher, more bulbous. If it all gets too much for you, focus on being grateful that you aren’t sleeping on a steel mattress or trying to keep your clothes on without buttons or zippers.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
Keith
January 2, 2020
Renee, well done. I predict many hypocrisies in 2020, where people will argue against something they used to argue for. I predict people in leadership positions will ignore real problems and fight lesser problems with overly simplistic solutions. I predict the younger folks will rightfully question the wisdom of these adults in leadership positions.
One of the best lines of the year was uttered by a sixteen year old climate change activist, Greta Thunberg. When a US legislator asked why people should listen to her, she responded, don’t listen to me, listen to the scientists. I did not add quotes as I may not have cited this precisely.
One of the great ironies of all this, we have one person in a leadership position who self-professes a disdain to read or study, whose briefings have to focus on the word “brief” to maintain his attention, who in spite of all of this has forced people who know things to leave, and who says his gut is smarter than an expert’s brain, then claims it is fake news when something is mishandled or poorly communicated.
A former colleague said this person claims to be a great negotiator. Yet, the former colleague said this person does not negotiate, his people negotiate. The one in charge does not have the patience or willingness to study to negotiate. Those are his words, not mine.
As a result, 2020 will be an interesting year. Keith
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 3, 2020
Thanks for these thoughts, Keith. Humans are capable of such a wide range of behavior, from the best to the unspeakable worst. We are, unfortunately, living at a time when behavior that creeps ever closer to the worst is being condoned or even rewarded. We haven’t institutionalized that behavior yet, as was done in Nazi Germany and elsewhere. But we accept more and more behavior that degrades us and/or poses a threat to our well-being and even our survival as a species.
Keith
January 3, 2020
Renee, quite true. Yet, the behavior happens so frequently, it becomes normalized. We are seeing the unspeakable being rationalized. Quite simply, people in leadership positions in our country, especially the one at the top, should not act the way they are. It is simply not right at the very least. In some cases, it is worse. We deserve better than this and should demand such, starting with ourselves. Keith
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 4, 2020
When I read the comments you make on my posts, as well as when I read others’ comments, I know that there are thoughtful, rational people out there. Unfortunately, the current climate is anything but. I keep wondering if anyone is paying attention. I know some are, but their voices aren’t being heard. People are too consumed by praying to the gods of wealth, nationalism and guns. And then there are the others, who know the names of all the celebs and designer brands, but who are clueless to world events that will have a huge impact on their lives.
Keith
January 4, 2020
Renee, many thanks, especially for your ability to find humor in the middle of all the noise. I write, in part, for my sanity. You are right how little many of us are paying attention. The question is are those people better informed than those who have been purposefully misinformed or disinformed by pseudo news or biased news sites. It is hard, but necessary, to confirm our sources. Keith
Peter's pondering
January 2, 2020
I predict that in the next five years LBL will be Supreme Leader of the Universe.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 3, 2020
It better happen soon, or I will be ruling from the nursing home.
Ilona Elliott
January 5, 2020
And of course the most erroneous prediction of all was that Hillary Clinton would be finishing her first term as the first woman POTUS in 2020. So much for predictions, old and not so old. If DT has taught us anything, it is that there is no foretelling the future, and that human beings are capable of unimaginably outrageous behavior and completely irrational thinking, if that is what you want to call it.
Life in the Boomer Lane
January 5, 2020
He’s taught me that, like others before him, when people in authority step so far over the line, the line disappears. Frightening, indeed.