Epic is the New Normal

Posted on July 15, 2019


Life in the Boomer Lane recently heard a newscaster refer to an ongoing weather news item as “epic.” Said newscaster then went on to describe the latest heat wave/flood/landslide/volcanic eruption/forest fire/hurricane/tornado/etc. LBL has personally stopped keeping track of any number of weather-related disasters that each has, for a moment or two, had the ability to override the endless stream of our homegrown, elected diasters. She can be forgiven for no longer being able to keep track. She does, however, know the following:

It is very hot. Last month was the hottest June ever recorded. France just saw 115 degrees Fahrenheit; Anchorage, Alaska, which had never topped 85 degrees, hit 90 in the last two weeks.

It is very wet. The last 12 months have been the wettest in American history. Washington DC just suffered ‘historic’ flooding. Barry, the latest tropical storm/hurricane has been pounding the Alabama and Louisiana coast. And, for a hot (and quite wet) minute, was expected to wreak untold damage on New Orleans. Thankfully, the levees held. Oceans continue to get warmer. Sea levels are rising. That combination means hurricanes and tropical storms are getting more numerous, stronger, and causing more damage.

Weather events, like our president, now live in a world of superlatives. They, like him, put on shows that are the biggest, the most memorable, the most unforgettable. They, like him, are larger than life. If they had IQs, they would be genius level. If they had hands and dicks, they would both be huge. It’s said that our president respects strongmen. The weather should be garnering a lot of respect from him, lately.

It’s easy to become alarmed. That’s why it was a relief to hear from the president’s own lips that he has done more for climate change than any president and/or humanoid in history. He announced that we have only one planet, and that planet, for those of his listeners who were stumped when required to identify it, is “earth.” He said he wanted us to have “the cleanest air and the cleanest water.”

To achieve these laudible goals, he removed the US from the Paris Climate Accord and eliminated Obama-era regulations that create reductions in pollution and greenhouse gas emissions. (The result has been more unhealthy air days and increased pollution in the last two years.)

Having ticked off air and water quality from his list of to-dos, he forgot to mention climate change per se. The UN warns that there is now one climate crisis disaster happening every week, somewhere on the planet.

Unfortunately, the president’s three favorite ways of dealing with things he doesn’t like (hurling Tweets and accusations, imposing or threatening to impose sanctions, and putting people in cages), hasn’t worked with the world climate. Climate has a mind of its own and its own agenda. It can’t be cajoled, impressed, or threatened. It doesn’t care about political affiliations or monetary donations or abusive Tweets. It doesn’t even care that some people think it’s fake. It isn’t ruled by fear of anything. It simply exists.

And so, the weather effects of climate change continue to roll on. It’s a great way to both fill up TV air space and add to the largest refugee crisis since World War II. The president doesn’t say much about climate change because it hasn’t affected him personally. LBL wishes it would. That might be a good thing. She tried to suggest it to the climate, but it could not be reached for comment. It’s busy working on the next disaster.